Missed Musings

not in the mood for love

2011-09-29T19:10:00.002+08:00

Storm past but
Not the blackhole in my heart
No matter what you say, what you do
Nothing can change
Me, what I am now
What I will be

not in the mood for love

2011-09-29T19:10:00.001+08:00

Storm past but
Not the blackhole in my heart
No matter what you say, what you do
Nothing can change
Me, what I am now
What I will be

not in the mood for love

2011-09-29T19:10:00.000+08:00

Storm past but
Not the blackhole in my heart
No matter what you say, what you do
Nothing can change
Me, what I am now
What I will be

rush

2010-12-29T16:46:00.003+08:00

in a rush to go someplace
else
nowhere

not in the mood to lay on the grass
and
ponder

seeking without knowing what is being sought
just
because

hoping not to find what is
already
here

so i can always fly

far
away

my true self

2010-10-28T15:01:00.004+08:00

...means there are fakes. the spirit is true and the flesh and brain not me but my machines. if my slaves made of senses are able to manipulate me, then i am at their mercy. dumb to fulfill their wishes. if my self is weak, they are strong. if i am strong, they are weak, serving only as i wish. all religions i know point to this. pity if i am slave to the slaves. giving in to their tendencies.. like candle on fire

land sinking, sea rising

2010-10-28T14:53:00.005+08:00

...explains the dreams. sometimes when sleeping, sometimes awake. ancient languages spoken to left ear. some angry, aggressive; some advising. the waters from the sea rise not just slowly, but some suddenly. mothers with their children, crying. no time to bring clothes, or food. escape to the mountain where it is not so safe... is this fate?

land sinking, sea rising

2010-10-28T14:53:00.002+08:00

explains the dreams i have. sometimes during sleep, sometimes awake. ancient languages spoken to left ear. some angry, aggressive; some advising. the waters from the sea rise not just slowly, but some suddenly. mothers with their children, crying. no time to bring clothes, or food. escape to the mountain where it is not so safe... is this fate?

Race to Nothing

2009-06-14T10:41:00.003+08:00

Amazing how we all try to out-do each other. The smartest, healthiest, bravest... the dirtiest, worst, ugliest... from postive to negative, highest to lowest...

If there are people who know the futility of outdoing each other and refuse to join the race to nothing, one of them would be the Iraya in Puerto Galera. Known to Flipino locals and dayuhan (foreign visitors) as the Mangyans (from the word, Mangyan or Mangmang yan, literal translation to English is he/she is ignorant), the Irayas possess only themselves and their freedom.

How I envy their freedom. The sight of them passing by, walking in a line, together, disposses me of what I hold or boast of as valuable--my education, my job, my accomplishments and other stuff. It brings me to question what full human development is--if it is the pressure to become the best that I can be, I would rather call it a progressive imprisonment of a person born free-- without clothes to label if a boy or a girl, a crib and house to determine if rich or poor, branded baby food that certifies a well-nourished weaning years, an education that structures my brain how to think, and an office job that is an improved version of slavery of centuries ago. And so on.

To be healthy and prolong life--an early death because of illness traced to insufficient faith? Not enough effort in scouring funds for industrial medicines... bullshit. But a good take-off point to question rights as a development paradigm.

dreaming running

2009-04-22T16:58:00.006+08:00

frequent dreams lately>>

referring to dream book by Nerys Dee...

running : dream interpretation is face the truth, do not run

fear and accidents: anxiety over what lies ahead

helicopter chase: dream interpretation of helicopter is practical ideals and ambitions

helicopter has giant spotlight pointed at the running self: means something to do with being seen or looked upon by many people

motorcyle chase: dream interpretation of motorcyle is life is speeding up to destiny

stop, face the truth, face ambitions, go with destiny, overcome anxiety as i speed up towards the lights. eliminate fear.

who is the young woman

2009-02-07T12:44:00.006+08:00

i will allow myself some self-accolade..

i have been feeling young these days. .. being with a group of women of early to late twenties, i realize how young i still am in attitude and relationship towards life and older feminists, respectively. on our way home from a book launch of an international women's group in a really really posh hotel in the heart of the Metro (Manila), we joked about who qualifies as a young woman, especially because i am nearing forties yet i still identify with younger women. (perhaps a secret to my being young-looking, nyahy!)

who qualifies as a young (feminist) woman?

we came up a list.

for sure, if you approach a senior feminist, stand less than a foot from her and she does not notice you right away as she is busy instructing a young woman like you, you qualify for a young woman/feminist. if you were older, that senior will instantly receive you gladly!

if you were tasked to research for an ENTIRE book (and of course give all your heart to it, skipping night outs and morning jogs with friends) and your boss gets authorship credits by presenting it in a meeting, and you get a footnote credit as assistant, you are a young woman/feminist.

if you speak words of dissent and critical attitude towards current dominant feminist thought and you are dismissed as simply CUTE, or undergoing some trouble in life or a problematic person, you are...

if you are perennially asked to document a meeting, call the waiter or driver, make a phone call, fix and operate the lcd projector or laptop and get blamed if things do not work or expected people did not come, you are...

if you do not have a problem being called a "girl" but "they" see that there is a BIG problem with being called a girl, you are...

the list goes on and goes on and on and on. for so many years, young feminists have been trying to bridge the gap with older feminists. young feminist groups have been established, coming and going.. . young feminists who usually make it to top org posts make it to that level primarily because they thinkold! this is not just me opinionating but lots and lots of young women. lots. lots.. lots.. lots....lost

pinikpikan to KALAYO.. the name game

2008-12-21T12:03:00.003+08:00

pinikpikan is now KALAYO. kalayo is hiligaynon word for "fire." we take on a creative fire attitude. but for now, we use pinikpikan-KALAYO, or KALAYO (formerly Pinikpikan).

what's in a name anyway. when we are born we are given name. a name that signifies ownership by someone else. an expected tax payer. a will-be insatiable consumer. a name called to derive obedience, exact submission. a name that marks, situates, locates, identifies... but music is beyond these. what is in a name anyway but a way to own, mark and control.

peace.

happy new year.

ode to my cat T

2008-11-11T17:14:00.002+08:00

my cat, famous in the eyes of my mother because she used to catch snakes up to 4 feet long. she died weeks ago, of an illness we were not able to determine, because she refused to be cuddled since her weird coughs began.

she was also talented in catching mice, and ate the clean-smelling ones. she always gave birth to healthy kittens. she was not into the habit of stealing food on the kitchen table. we did not have problems with claws, she was always gentle. she always cleaned herself.

i love my cat. now in cat heaven. i miss her so much.

wowoweeee

2008-09-23T07:48:00.003+08:00

after years of hating this game, i found myself having fun yesterday as i watched lolas and lolos sing and dance in the ritualistic special number before contestants play the Q and A game with the host.

what makes this show a hit is not willie or the bikini girls who all make being beautiful and naive-looking desirable. it is the contestants whose transparent humanness shines through the boob tube to reach people who are all equally neck-deep in everyday concerns in life, especially the poor (katulad ko wala datung).

for every special number, the contestants get P5000. i wish the show could give much more. distribute more of its advertising collections to contestants who transform life's big problems into little, tolerable and learning experiences that everyone on this earth has to go through.

end dead ends

2008-09-18T22:11:00.007+08:00

ecclesiastical saying... King Solomon, a person who lived almost everything to find wisdom, concluded that everything is futile, a chasing after the wind.

have chased after some things only to find out later you are being chased?

have searched for some things only to find out they never existed?

have cried about a lot of things only to find out later that you should have laughed instead?

have discovered things that found you?

have hidden things that many people wanted to flaunt but do not have?

have passed through many years of life without knowing when, where, why, how...?

seen many years ahead but face a dead end?

a musician is praised for what is created, but despised for what others cannot create.

an artist is needed, but discarded for the impossibility to be owned.

work all life, and bring nothing to the next.

life is not always futile, but a dead end without end. so cross over the wall before the soulflower of life withers.

what our history teachers forgot to teach us...

2008-09-16T20:07:00.004+08:00

i have been assisting in a research on the philippine- american war by looking at the Philippine revolutionary records/insurrection records (PRR or PIR) at the national library (kalaw, manila). i've been also looking at rare serials between 1899 to 1913.

the first day i read through first few documents on microfilm, i felt different. a melodramatic feeling inside, my heart. i was with my American friend who was the one doing the research... (if it wasn't for her, i would not have encountered these documents!) i never realized how much i do not about this country that i was born in.

habang binabasa ko ang mga sulat sa isa't isa ng mga rebolusyonaryo noon, para akong naiiyak na hindi. i can't describe the feeling. the letters showed how each one cared for the other. how corruption and wrongdoings were taken seriously. women berated drunken revolutionary men, and often risked their lives to bring food to their relatives. the words of those who wrote were always full of love and concern. there was a strong valuing of transparency, of dialogue. . . there was a strong feeling of being one, for a nation-in-the-making.

if i had read, had the chance to read through these documents when i was in elementary or highschool, perhaps i would have become a better citizen than i am today. if most of us were taught the value of really knowing and reading our past, aside from what history books offer, perhaps this country would have better citizens. less divided, with less strife. more openness, more love. deeper connection with our historical past.

the Lord is my sheperd

2008-09-05T19:56:00.004+08:00

i shall not want
He maketh to lie down on green pastures
He leadeth me beside still waters
He restoreth my soul
He guides me in the path of righteousness for His namesake
yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i will fear no evil
for Thou art with me
Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies
Thou anointest my head with oil
my cup runneth over
surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord
Forever

Psalm 23>>>>first full bible passage i memorized, when i was in Kindergarten school at the Temple Bible School along Tandang Sora Avenue, Quezon City. the school was founded by American Christian missionaries. we learned children's gospel songs, both Tagalog and English. happy days were those... i had a very strict teacher who took teaching to heart, and had lots of cheap chichirya in my bag. our school bus was a yellow old style school bus. my classmates were of different types--bullies, smart asses, shy-types, etc. we loved to sit at the back end. we laughed whenever our bags and notepads and pens flew as the bus passes over a bumpy spot on the road. hay, sarap maging bata. i had a fun-filled childhood even though my family was poor...

Marshall McLuhan--- especially when i suffer info overload and have no idea at all

2008-08-29T22:40:00.007+08:00

Remembering McLuhan, famous communication theorist. More known for his --THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE--legacy to information age prisoners like myself.

Some McLuhanisms (from a website dedicate to him: www.marshallmcluhan.com; also, visit http://www.mcluhan.ca/)

The story of modern America begins With the discovery of the white man by The Indians. -True di ba?
Whereas convictions depend on speed-ups, justice requires delay. --Kaya wag na magtaka bakit tambak kaso mga korte natin.
Invention is the mother of necessities. --cellphone at internet addicts, ang dami natin!
Mud sometimes gives the illusion of depth. --Maraming titser at estudyanteng ganito. hehe.
The road is our major architectural form. --just like our roads in this country.
Today each of us lives several hundred years in a decade. --kaya relak lang dapat.
When you are on the phone or on the air, you have no body.--i love this one. physicality+ presence+space=realness
All advertising advertises advertising.-- ... pera-pera lang yan.
This information is top security. When you have read it, destroy yourself. ---katakut but true
One of the nicest things about being big is the luxury of thinking little. --swak! tamaan magalit na.
Politics offers yesterday’s answers to today’s questions. --agree, grabe.
Food for the mind is like food for the body: the inputs are never the same as the outputs.--aruy!
At the speed of light, policies and political parties yield place to charismatic images.-- kaya puro pa-kyut na lang mga pulitiko. billboard kabi-kabila. anu ba yan??!!

ey joey

2008-08-18T23:49:00.003+08:00

8 year-old cat Joey Burito or Joey Girly... she scratches.. most of my white scars her doing.
but i love her. she is a "pusakal" or pusang kalye (street cat). thrown away by irresponsible owners, my sister took pity and asked me to wean her. a very young kitten has to be held close to your heart, so she can hear your heartbeat. your heartbeat guides her heartbeat. the heat from your body keeps her warm.

2008-08-04T17:21:00.002+08:00

kabiyak online.
Ogayam.
sapay koma kan Apo Cabonian
chug-an yaton biag nu.
fumilfilog ka, nakaladkad
agasan na sakit long-ag nu
sika agay asawak
sika agay lakay ko
pay-ok sika onay-onayan
achika machanagan
awachak sito.

sapay koma kan Apo Dios
achi taku vay-vay-an.

when life is a mess: back to basics, back to roots

2008-07-27T13:15:00.004+08:00

the Bible. i started reading it again. a rich treasure of simple facts and advice from our Maker. Free will. Babylon. Lamp. Path. Salt. Grace. Salvation.
Salvation not just from hell after life. But life on earth as well.
While philosophers problematize life, the Bible has already given a prescription for life on earth. A remedy, solution, a path. Read with a seeking mind, and the Spirit might just make us understand. yup, the Spirit, not the preachers on tv either asking for your bucks or out-reasoning each other on who among them is God's chosen messenger.

showbiz pookies

2008-07-21T20:33:00.005+08:00

what else can kill a soul but the existence to be nothing else but a cookie in a jar.
and it kills me to unwillingly witness showbiz dudes and dudettes perform their designated pretentious eye twinkle, drawn manicured smiles. agh!

living to please, what else can kill creativity?
like a Barbie doll, originally made to tickle the lonely soldiers at war. smooth manufactured skin. hollow being.

one can be both an eye-catching beauty and a creative spirit--- bjork, sinead, sade, zap mama, sheila chandra, etc.

fame and fortune vs. soul and being? fake copies vs. raw creativity?
some have it all. but i will have no respect left for someone who simply fakes her/his act.
cherry gil: "you are nothing but a second rate, trying hard, copy cat!" --from the lips of a contravida, but most often words of truth.

mabuhay mga lahi ni bella flores.

credits for the UAAP opening

2008-07-19T21:10:00.006+08:00

here... found the credits for the show

71st UAAP OPENING CEREMONY

Start:	Jul 5, '08 1:00p
Location:	Araneta Coliseum

UP Diliman hosted the 71st UAAP OPENING CEREMONY last July 5 at the Araneta Coliseum. The show featured performers from the UP Filipiniana, UP PEP Squad, UP Dance Company , UP Dancesport and the UP StreetDance. It was aired over ABS-CBN (yez, nationwide itish).

Artistic Director: Dexter M. Santos
Head Choreographer: Van Manalo
Choreographers: Lalaine Perena, Jerome Dimalanta, Jojo Carino
Production Designer: Tuxqs Rutaquio
Lighting Designer: John Neil Ilao Batalla
Music Design: Carol Bello
Scriptwriter: Sir Anril Tiatco
Technical Director: Voltaire de Jesus
Production Manager: Theresa Gonzalez

To add...
The live musicians, aside from myself, were:
Irish Pangilinan (my music design assistant, keyboards)
Diwa de Leon (Makiling Ensemble, hegalong)
Paul Zialcita (Pinikpikan, kali drum and mineral water bottle plus varied shakers)
Budeths Casinto (Pinikpikan, derbouka)
Raymond Panganiban (bass guitar)
Govinda (Kadangyan, djembe)
Frances Escape (Philippine-made derbouka)
Divine Leano (guitar)

Except for the "super rush and sleepless nights mode" of this project, since I came in as music scorer/designer two weeks only before the show, it was a pretty good experience. For the recorded music that accompanied live musicians, I was able to combine the kulittong (bamboo zither) with the agong and the paldong (bamboo flute) with the balimbing (i forgot what the great ethnomusicologist dr. Jose Maceda calls this in English, everyone interested in Filipino indigenous music should read his books. siya ang tunay na super lolo ng Pilipinong musika). The tungatong (bamboo poles), however, was not explored so much due to time constraints.

I was also elated that former U.P. president Dr. Jose Abueva's granddaughter (so royalty mode tayo ngayon), Julia Abueva gave a heart-warming rendition to my composition for the young athletes. The real title was Awit ni Lourdes (Song of Lourdes> name of my mother), but for the show, it was made into Awit para sa Kabataang Atleta (song for the young athlete).

Dinugo talaga ako sa rush na ito pero okay naman talaga sa karanasan.

potions, voice and healing

2008-07-19T15:55:00.010+08:00

still some thoughts from the rainforest world music festival...
sarawak, known as the land of head hunters...
similar to what happened in the Cordillera, head hunting as a culture and way of life ceased when the christian missionaries came in. head hunting was replaced by the prevailing military and legal system , which in my view is just a more bureaucratic form of headhunting. i would not say that peace was the agenda for the end of head hunting. perhaps, this is one reason why civilization as we know it, is failing to "save" this world from man-made destructive activities.

back to my friend, the man is in his traditional wear, in a traditional hut, inside the sarawak cultural village that brings together displays of sarawak's rich and diverse culture. he was selling a powder antidote for snake bite and twigs that emit aroma that drives away evil spirits. just sad that i was not able to find him in his spot the next day to buy some of his stuff.

healing....
in the Voice of our People workshop, one from the audience asked if our songs and voices (indian, filipino, caribbean, portuguese) had something to do with healing... that was a thoughtful question.
all of us agreed and said yes, but more for the soul than medicinal or physical healing (we are not online sound healers who do marketing by the dollars, and we profess not to be tribal shamans who work wonders).

i also answered yes, it can be for the soul and the body... but strange that the dominant thought in me then at that time was that voice can be both for healing and destruction, in the same way that your parents can comfort you and scold or scar you depending on the words, timbre, pitch and overall "feel" of what comes out of their throats.

and sometimes, we have to be "destroyed" to heal within. death and resurrection of the self not only in the framework of christian salvation, but of improving one's self after a mistake or a defeat or shaming event in life. to scar and stumble, and get up again. on this note, healing and harm are not opposites that do not meet.

one singer said that to heal, you must first be able to heal yourself. that is true with him. but in my reality, i am sure we can still help others heal still even if the self is wounded, we can build even if depleted. we can always try, even if there is no glimmer of hope. i do sing and read the bible to my sick husband and so far, he is still alive even doctors are amazed. but of course, the doctors and nurses also do a lot of physical healing to my husband. and my husband does the greatest healing to himself. he is a happy and content human.

and if perfection is a pre-requisite to helping others, no one among us can ever qualify. much like if inner peace is a pre-requisite for world peace, we can consume all the time in the universe and still very few of us could claim to be perfect images of peace.

willingness, not perfection, is my preferred prerequisite to healing and peacemaking.

world hunger that satisfies

2008-07-18T19:00:00.002+08:00

from the rainforest world music festival
sarawak, malaysia
11th to13th july 2008

... this was a workshop crowd. in the dark middle were workshop facilitators that included Pinikpikan bandmates Budeths, Gerry, Boygarro and Rene "Chong."

the three day festival of music from all over the world, attracting different races, creeds, faces, smells, tongues, etc demonstrates the state of world hunger for intellect- soul fulfillment and connection with nature via sound and music.

this is one kind of hunger i wish would strike everyone in this small and deteriorating earth.
like what i told one journalist, when i was asked about the purpose of my chants, one purpose is to continuously awaken us to the fact that we are puny humans... acting like we are so powerful when we cannot even make ourselves bigger than the mountains.

i was even asked how i do my chants... i almost forgot the answer, but i remembered. believe it or not, the chants were brought by some spirits that sang through my throat, entered the palms of my hands, and made me feel different sensations and states of being.

i am not a magical person. i do hope i am not an alien. but one thing for sure, i feel the connection with nature, a capacity to tap into that energy channel, like a lifetime free subscription for those who are "open."

peace pix fix

2008-07-18T18:33:00.003+08:00

a stroll
through
damp
path
a mild breeze
a hint of dew
perfect.
tired,
rejuvenated.

Nazer's back-to-school prize

2008-06-15T13:56:00.009+08:00

photo of 13 year-old Nazer, from Tui, Daguioman Abra, before his right eye operation under UPIS 88 batchmate Doc. Rainier's caring hands.
=============
he left Q.C. last night, his vision, 20/20 left eye, 25/20 right eye. a big achievement indeed when before his second operation, his right eye can only sense movement in bright light. the doctor, some friends, Nazer's parents and myself pulled together the amount to cover for operating room, anesthesia and other expenses.

he had his first operation in Vigan. his parents sold their farms for 44,000 pesos; but the hospital bill went way beyond this figure. weeks after his first, Nazer's right eye developed white tissue inside that blocked his vision.

more than a month of stay in QC, Nazer finally goes back to Abra to catch up with school.

that stray pellet bullet from a kid toy gun gave Nazer and his parents so much trouble. toy guns are real and not things to play with.

Visit IANSA

Oh Freddie: kill the sinners, rape the virgins

2008-06-05T20:31:00.006+08:00

After viewing all these Freddie films, a viewer can easily conclude that each movie
and all films as a whole fulfill a moralist agenda. Freddie was a kid murderer before he was burned to death by neighborhood parents. In all movies, he was also called the mass murderer of innocent children, a label
likewise used on abortion practitioners; Freddie's murder weapon was a glove of metal-blade fingernails, symbolic of instruments used by abortionists; at the same time, the metal fingernails could be an allusion to the fingernails of fetuses or unborn children.

In all movies, Freddie was a nightmare to the impure, and killed them too--teens who engage in premarital sex, youth delinquents, drug addicts, and the irresponsible adults and parents. In all the movies, Freddie is killed by the pure--the virgins, the loving and pure mother, the innocent kid and the unborn-- usually garbed in white, a symbol of purity. However, as the valiant virgin gives in to immorality, she is successfully killed by Freddie in the next movie.

In all films, Freddie's consistent proclamation was that he is evil himself. Evil is a result of humanity's evil deeds. Evil is immorality. Immorality results in death. A death of an immoral person ends up in hell.

Freddie was the unholy outcome of a rape of a Catholic nun by a thousand maniacs. The killing of Elm street kids was the karmic result when parents took justice into their own hands by killing the murderer.

In the first movie, Freddie was black. His skin was black and his 'lingo' was black.
However, the filmmakers, perhaps realizing the probable backlash of this characterization, transformed him into a white man from the second movie onwards.

Fire and snakes, elements of hell and expulsion from the garden of Eden, weaved through the stories. The Christian cross repulsed Freddie, while the physical christian church consistently
delivered him to his end. At every end was the precaution to be watchful. To never ever sleep is a biblical message to never give in to impurity.

Jason vs. Freddie was the eight, culminating and top grosser film for all the Freddie Krueger movies. The movie grossed $82,622,655.00 in the United States and $114,326,122.00 worldwide. Total gross worldwide of all eight films reached $330,288,328.00 (source).

Jason vs. Freddie brought the moral of the story to a much contemporary level. Evil is no longer just in one's dreams, it has truly come and has an ally. The ally does not kid around like Freddie. It will not listen to your arguments, you would not be able to control it with your mind, and you do not have to remember to give life to it. It just keeps on coming, and it has Freddie's head with it.

Fear is such an effective tool of repression.

cyborg in me

2008-05-19T13:54:00.003+08:00

donna haraway's cyborg manifesto shines above the "isms" i have ever encountered.
the goddess is a cyborg that saves by killing, loyal in its promiscuousity, sharp for it ambiguity, holy transgressive.

where identity has been embraced and enforced onto others by the 'saviors' of my soul, i take refuge in darkness, within the being of Shiela Na Gig, powerful for her montrous face.

for in darkness, i am free to create, kill, defy, do what the light forbids me.

as the light marks, darkness eliminates discrimination.

Forbidden Kingdom-forbade by whom?

2008-04-29T18:27:00.002+08:00

such a disappointment. what would have been the greatest CMA movie has turned into an empired, gendered hollywoodic movie.

how i wished the fight scenes between jacky chan and jet li were more than the movie offered.

that characters:
a vengeful, orphaned girl -chinese
a bitch, evil witch-chinese
an asexual monk (jet li, as usual) -chinese
carefree-careless drunken master ( jacky chan, as usual)-chinese
a ruthless warlord-chinese
a street bully- american, trained in a korean taekwondo
a really nice boy- american, accidental hero, pure of heart, either a great messenger or a master chosen by Destiny

the chinese kingdom referred to in the film is fantasy, fictional. the boy's american neighborhood is contemporary and realistic.

the movie ends with a scene where the good american boy is practicing his monkey staff form-- kungfu in his hands. hooray.

culture and killing

2008-04-16T15:37:00.002+08:00

culture borne out of life.. eventually kills life. --Andre Gide

much like art in the museum, dead and not moving.
static.

amazing.

how many artists have "killed" artistic evolution to please the producer
have you "killed" a friend to get that promotion
"killed" a mentor to take over an empire
"killed" a student over recognition
"killed" to preserve
to satisfy
own
it

kill desire for stagnancy. be unmoved and die eventually.

Immoralist

2008-04-02T14:12:00.004+08:00

Halfway through this book by Andre Gide....
A phrase struck me..." in art there are no problems..."
The way it was explained, the unspoken line seems to be... "only drama."

In art there are no problems, only drama.

My brother chatting over late morning coffee adds, "contradictions..."

Oo, I thought. A woman of deep connections with me has turned enemy; a seemingly nice guy, a cunning blackmailer; and, teacher I adored for so many years, who molded my soul into light, a degrader.

I read equality and forgotten how to practise. My school a nationalist, but existing away from the mass.

Contradiction. Life is. I step forward and end up miles away from the finish line. As a friend said, we declare ownership because we do not own. We claim because we cannot possess.

Drama. Years of childhood gaiety gone, only adult sadness. In the middle of crisis, people we want leave. Those we puke at seeing, stay.

So I just look at life as art. In life, there are no problems, just contradictions.

18th iwff with bella flores

2008-03-05T20:31:00.004+08:00

the 18th international women's film festival Diwata awardee is Bella Flores... why...

method actor combining intellect and art
acting consistency
irreplaceable
empress of signs
iconic looks
the vamp with dissenting agency
legacy of more than 100 movies without a need for a leading man
THE CONTRAVIDA.. that is Bella

pukpok kawayan sa francisco baltazar's orosman at zafira

2008-02-21T12:49:00.003+08:00

i just have to remind myself. i did the score and music directing for this Dulaang University of the Philippine play OROSMAN AT ZAFIRA. so far, feedback from those who watched and listened to the play is good. but then, there is always room for improvement. i realized how much harder it is to direct people than simply give them instructions and tell them to simply follow. maybe this is why most directors i can think of look old.

it is sometimes tiring to repeatedly remind people to focus and feel. what i sense is missing is the heart and effort to feel, go beyond the ego and lose one' self in the creation (the play itself).

i admire people who put their heart into their art--

I love Italian cinema

2007-12-13T16:19:00.000+08:00

Not being a film history expert, I was not so exposed to so much Italian films until late November (2007) when Emanuela Adesini of the Embassy of Italy once again brought her country's films to the UP Film Institute.

WHAT I LOVE in Italian films are the colors, the contrasts, the fearless dialogues.. the film language that carries the story forward in smoothest manner. Emotion guides comprehension. not manipulative like typical Hollywood. Felt, not imposed.

Some of the Italian films featured were RESPIRO (GRAZIA' S ISLAND), LAMERICA, MEDITERRANO (im not sure if i spell this right). I like all of them but liked Respiro the most, and thought that it was made by a woman, patient, not imposing. A male directed this film that's not preachy but tells the audience what understanding and humaneness really are.

The Italian Film Festival is a yearly event at the UP Film Institute... And beginning next year, one Italian film per month will have screenings at the Institute's Videotheque. Entrance is an affordable fee of 35pesos only.

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006)

2007-09-05T04:37:00.000+08:00

Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen) is a television personality in Kazakhstan. His government sends him to the United States of America to learn culture and report about the "greatest country in the world."

With this assignment, Borat and his crew shoots a documentary of Borat as he learns the great American culture through interaction with different kinds of Americans.

However, Borat’s naive-stupid sexism and colonial mind bring him more trouble than cultural acceptance--his twists in fate usually depending on the norms and standards of the people he interacts with. Borat’s disinterest in pursuing their assignment as he diverts to finding and marrying Pamela Anderson provides the narrative impetus for the Borat adventure in the American subcultures.

Not like us?
Borat is a Saddam look-a-like, impoverished and chauvinist. He is a graphic example of a man trapped in his own world of phobias and biases while attempting to learn “civilization” from the “great nation of America.”

Poking on our phobias, the film allows the audience to experience learning together with Borat. It becomes a powerful tool to show how the great cultural empire and land of freedom is likewise enmeshed in its own prejudices and cultural –moral contradictions.

It allows us to look at ourselves through the Borat mirror and realize that we all have prejudices, that we all tend to ‘judge a book by its cover’ -- even if we claim to be civilized members of society who advocate equality and humaneness.

I admit that before seeing the movie, I feared if I had the persevering tolerance for whatever racist or sexist joke I will hear from Borat. Later on, I saw myself laughing at all the jokes that Borat throws at his audiences while realizing my own prejudices in the process.

Borat tours the subcultures of America

Here is Borat: A lower class male aspiring to be elite and civilized; comes from a poor, rural village in a poor country; and, talks openly about loving the great American culture, his boring sex with his wife, extramarital sex escapades and gratifications, prostitutes and sex with them, sex with black prostitute women and gay men, fear of Jews and suspicions towards Christians, and a plethora of other sensitive, not easily discussed topics.

Borat in New York: the big apple where different races thrive. As a man who has been used to greeting males with a kiss on both cheeks, Borat was strange and scary to male pedestrians. In a subway, passengers’ anger reached the peak when Borat’s suitcase breaks open and his petrified pet chicken disturbs everyone on board. Why would city- dwellers be repelled by a traumatized chicken and a village idiot? What’s in a chicken-induced commotion that will make urban dwellers angry enough to push a stranger out of the train?

Borat studies American humor. The filmmakers’ ingenuity shines as they lay the basis for Borat jokes. With Borat’s conversation with a white male American humor consultant, the admonition for audiences not to be too stiff and trapped in rules on what is a funny or not became clear. Over other meanings, this scene asked me not to be a bore and go along with the film’s nasty humor.

Borat appears on television station. This segment reveals the idiocy of media and the staff who allowed Borat to appear on camera and be interviewed about his culture and his admiration for America without checking who Borat really is. It seems that even if you are not credible or real, as long as you appear or act funny and can entertain, you can appear in a television station and become a celebrity.

Borat with the white female etiquette coach and the white people’s etiquette club. In this sequence, Borat asks his etiquette coach:
“Should you be polite to all?”
“Yes.”
“Should you be polite to prostitute?…”
“In America we don’t discuss that…”
This dialogue reveals the culture of who are privileged to receive politeness and who are not. People working in restaurants deserve tips, but prostitutes? Nah.
Borat’s consultation with his coach is interspersed with formal dinners with white upper class Americans who have mixed reactions towards Borat’s uncensored discussion of sex with prostitutes, his sister prostitute and boring sex with his wife.

Surprisingly, Borat’s dinner mates were able to take in all his “uncivilized” and ignorant ways, e.g., not knowing when to discuss sexual matters, how to use the American toilet bowl. What made them hit the boiling point and push Borat out of the mansion was when Borat’s date for the night-- a backstreet pot-bellied, bleach-haired, black woman named Luenell-- arrives. White upper class American prejudice is revealed in their disgust for lumpenic concerns and their blatant dislike for women in prostitution.

Borat with gay community. This seem to be the only community where kissing and hugging, just like what Borat does in his community, are accepted. There was no fear at all for Borat’s strange ways. In the midst of the queer and the feared “immoral” populace, he was accepted as he is. Of course, the filmmaker most likely intended to project the gay community’s friendly culture.

Borat with American rodeo. This is a truly scary portion of the film where Borat was able to elicit the opinions of American cowboys about homosexuals, reinstitution of slavery and the American war on terror. The cowboys openly support the idea that homosexuals should be given the capital punishment and be put to death. With the Brokeback Mountain movie still fresh in the film audience’s mind, the chauvinist and violent cowboy bias isn’t new but looks much scarier. After his chat with phobic-supremacist cowboys on the ringside, Borat, dressed in a cowboy suit with an American flag design, walks to the stadium’s center. Put in the program to sing the national anthem of his country to the tune of the American national anthem, he first begins with praises for the American president’s “war of terror.” The public, perhaps hearing the “of” as “on,” lets out a big applause. Borat proceeds with many other praises and almost spills over his satiric intent with a prayerful declaration that the American president will “drink the blood of every man, woman, and child in Iraq." There were less applause with this one, but, still, there was. For his weird utterances, Borat was booed and threatened to be mobbed by the rodeo audience only at the time he sang his country’s national anthem with lyrics declaring his country as the greatest of all while other nations, America included, are like “little girls.” The white American patriarchal supremacist pride of these redneck cowboys will really scare you off.
Borat with State of Georgia representative Bob Barr and frequent candidate Alan Keyes. The State of Georgia is known for its Christian conservatives and racist history where the African Americans suffered a great deal of slavery, inequality and discrimination. In real life, the Borat interviewee Bob Barr is a hardcore anti-abortion advocate while interviewee Alan Keyes is a black Republican and Christian conservative. Predictably, Borat’s immorality, homosexual tendencies and uncensored lumpen language baffles these two men.

Borat with the black male community and high class hotel. Desperate to fit in and be hip, Borat drops by a group of adolescent African American boys in a dimly lit suburb, consults them about how to be cool and asks how he, a foreigner who wants to be like American, can dress like these cool boys. Then, the sequence brings us to Borat entering an expensive hotel and asking for a room. Strangely dressed with his pants pulled down (to make it really low-waist) and speaking in a black accent and lingo, the hotel receptionist runs away from Borat. Lesson: If you want acceptance, dress “normal” and speak “normal.” Fair-skinned Borat dressed like black and speaking black is not “normal.”

Borat, Azamat and the long dildo chase in a white corporate gathering. This is the portion where much of the nudity, and most of the audience laughter comes out. Borat, seeing companion Azamat masturbating on Pamela Anderson’s magazine photo, beats up Azamat and chases him all around the hotel—the hallway, the elevator, and conference hall. Azamat, nude. Borat, nude and with a dildo in hand. Azamat was nude because he was masturbating. Borat was nude because he just came from the shower. The dildo, Borat accidentally picked to use as Azamat’s beating stick. Of course, the people witnessing the chase did not know that. They saw another kind of “reality” based on an uninformed assumption.

Borat with the Christian Pentecostals. Off all the film’s sequences, this is the ambiguous one. The scene opens with Borat joining a Pentecostal worship service where the Christian god is exalted, and proceeds to footages of Borat being absorbed into the cultic-hypnotic trance of the congregation. This cuts to a scene where Borat gets free ride nearer to where he thinks Pamela Anderson is. In this sequence, there was no sexist or vulgar Borat. The cross-cultural issue of chauvinism and vulgarity did not come out here. Perhaps, the filmmakers wanted to show the “religious” in everyone, including politicians and justices (a Mississippi congressman and justice of the state supreme court were among those present in the gathering). Western Christian religion is no different from the Islam who also has religious political leaders.

Borat with white fraternity men. Here, Borat receives some acceptance but in a different manner. He was accepted for his strangeness because he was sexist just like the frat men and was entertaining enough for the booze-induced male laughing trip.

Borat with veteran white Feminists. I placed this last because this was my favorite part. I see myself as a feminist and advocate of women’s human rights and equality, including liberation from male dominance that perpetuates sexual objectification of women’s bodies. If I were one of those feminists, Borat’s chauvinist talk will really turn me off. I might not just walk out, but might actually punch him the face. However, as an audience who saw the context of Borat’s existence and sexism, I was spurred to think about my own biases towards persons like Borat.

I like this scene because it shows the dominant trend of white female moralistic feminism in the United States from which a big part of feminist practice in many parts of the world is patterned after. White feminism, although a crucial catalyst for early women’s liberation movements, needs to examine its own flaws and prejudices, especially against women of color and women in prostitution or sex work.

Borats in us
The film spurs a popular, worldwide cultural debate that crosses human-made boundaries of religion, nation, culture, societal norms and standards as well as bases of discrimination such as class, race and ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, work and so on. It asks us to see ourselves. Realize and laugh at our prejudiced tendencies. Across cultures, we love to hate those we see as prejudiced against us but we refuse to see and hear our own prejudices.

At the film’s conclusion, Borat brought prostitute Luenelle to Kazakhstan as his wife. All his funny talk about prostitutes and sex in sexist tones did not really affect his perception of Luenelle as a full human being. Luenelle’s work was not a problem at all. This is where the filmmakers’ intent became very clear: Turn away from discrimination and really see all people as equal, including Borat, gays, blacks and prostitutes.

Changing this world necessitates that we all look at ourselves first and know our own phobias, biases and impositions on how fellow humans should look, act or speak. The film’s approach in exposing prejudice across cultures is brave and effective. Choosing the American subcultures as templates of cultural trappings in many parts of the world simply fits.

Every adult should see this film. Anyone too “Boratophobic” to do so should not expect that this phobic and conflict-ridden world will change within his/her lifetime.

Ramon Zamora

2007-08-27T12:33:00.000+08:00

Sino sa mga edad 30 pataas ang hindi lumaki sa mga pelikula ni Ramon Zamora? Naaalala ko pa noon, kapag Ramon Zamora ang palabas, lahat kaming magkakapatid 'glued' sa tv. Hindi namin kilala si Bruce Lee pero si Ramon Zamora, oo. Hindi pa uso noon ang mga mga harness para makapag-sirku ang action star, may Ramon Zamora na. Ngayong sumakabilang buhay na siya (he was 72 years old) , nakahihianayang at nakakasuya na walang masyadong balita o malaking pagpupugay man lang sa aktor na ito. Pero hindi bale, he will always be Ramon Zamora. Pilipinong aktor na magaling sa martial arts at mahusay magpatawa.

FFB URL

2007-08-12T13:35:00.000+08:00

FFB line up <clickme>

Friday Film Bar

2007-08-12T13:14:00.000+08:00

Okay. here again after a long blogging absence. very busy nowadays... taking charge of Friday Film Bar (FFB)... with so many artsy fartsy people these days, we need art with meaning and depth.

so UP Film Institute came up with Friday Film Bar. last Friday, August 10, was the launch night. we had Pinikpikan's Sammy Asuncion play the Hegalong/Kuglong, with Budeths playing the Debakan drum.

the films viewed for free were Badjao (1957) by National Artist Lamberto Avellana and Gabon (2006) by Emman dela Cruz. The Avellana family, with Direk Jose M Avellana was there.The cool New Zealand Ambassador Pine as well as Mindanao State University Chancellor, who acted in Emman's film, were there too.

FFB will not be possible without Cordillera Coffee and New Zealand Embassy, truly. Fuji provided the food and UP Cinema student org was co-organizer.

Next Friday, August 17, will have the Cinemalaya 2006 film In the Red Corner and UP student film Sakdal Laya. Pinikpikan provides the music.

Flowing coffee (Hot or cold) and native iced tea pa rin. super sarap iced tea ng Cordillera Coffee, promise.

independence day wish list...

2007-06-11T09:20:00.000+08:00

simple lang naman. sa June 12, sana..

matinik ng buto ng manok mga pulitikong nangdaya nung eleksyon
mapa-upo sa thumbtacks mga titser na nagpagamit sa pandaraya
mag-amoebiasis mga COMELEC officials na kasabwat
maiflush sa toilet ng mga botanteng naglako ng boto ang perang binayad sa kanila
mag-decide si tita Glo na hiwalayan si Mike
mag-usap-usap mga peminista ng kaMaynilaan at aminin sa isa't isa na sila ay nag-i-isnaban
tunay magka-ibigan ang isang military official at isang Gabriela officer at magpakasal sila agad agad
tigilan na ni Joey de Leon panggagaya sa bakla para lang kumita, tutal mayaman na siya stick na lang siya kay tita Mel
wag na galit sa lalaki ang ibang bianing na kaibigan ko
wag na magalit sa bianing at bading mga heterosexual males na friends ko rin
gumana ang mga natutulog na empleyado at ahensya ng gobyerno na sobrang dami lang.. po**h mahiya naman kayo!!!!!
magkaroon ng boksing match between news anchors ng GMA at ABS CBN, para maki-pusta ako
kunin ni Lord mga nananagasa ng pusa at aso sa kalye
mapunta sa impierno mga gahaman
magkaron ng inflatulence mga smoke-belchers
sana bumaba muli tuition fee sa UP
sana masagana ang ani ng mga magsasaka.. syet nakakaiyak na talaga kalagayan nila.. in the long run, iiyak din tayo lahat dahil mas gusto pa natin laptop kaysa bigas
sana tumaas na sweldo ng mga manggagawa, government protective mechanisms should protect its Filipino workers first. yan essence ng government!
wag na muling mag-leading man ng kasingbata ni Piolo Pascual si lola Regine, ayaw ko siyang magmukhang pedophile

Blurp: What do feminists (not) want?

2007-06-02T17:41:00.000+08:00

According to Stevi Jackson and Jackie Jones, Thinking for Ourselves: an Introduction to Feminist Theorising. Uk: Edinbugh University Press, 1998; p. 1

"Feminists refuse to accept that inequalities between women and men are natural and inevitable and insist that they should be questioned.... Thinking as a feminist involves much of what has counted as 'knowledge.' Because we have historically lived in male-dominated societies, women have more often been the objects of knowledge rather than producers of it."

Inequality and subordination-objectification are key concepts and realities challenged by feminism. however, inequality exists not only between the male and female (biological sex), but also between old and young (age), white and colored (race), heterosexual and homosexual/bisexual/transgender/intersex/pansexual/queer (sexuality/sexual orientation), lowlander and highlander/urbanite and ruralite/indigenuous (ethnicity), rich and poor (class), able and disabled (disability), high caste and low caste (descent), white collar and white collar (work), etc.

Feminism is not for women only. Feminism works against all forms of discrimination and inequalities. However, feminism is not one "ism." There are many strands of it--liberal, popular, postmodern, socialist, marxist, eco, radical and so on. Sometimes on an issue, one feminism collides with another strand of feminism.

quote for the day

2007-05-26T08:31:00.000+08:00

A friend read to me...

"She who fights and runs away lives to fight another day."--Bob Marley.

So, to my predators. I would like to officially inform you that I am running away from you to do music. So let me run away, and you just come back someday.

save and print

2007-05-24T11:15:00.000+08:00

i saw myself on Probe (ABS CBN) last night. wow, grabe, haggard. there is no glam in politics... but then, music lives forever (oh, di ba connect thoughts ko ngayon). the modern mangkukulam/babaylan say that whenever we feel stressed and depressed, we should take a flower or two with us. place it on our desk or somewhere near so that nice flower vibes can repel the negative vibes surrounding us... so look at the flower and smile!

animal planet tips

2007-05-20T10:45:00.000+08:00

heard something like this at animal planet.. survival tips for a wild earth:

1. expose your predators!
2. stay in a group
3. use your size ( or your group size if you are small)
4. run as fast as you can
5. act as a collective (wag mag-solo flight)

in pix is my dog, Fabi, in our farm one and a half hours trek away from my house. she is small, she is tough. she is "baog" like me. i miss her na.

failure of democracy in daguioman

2007-05-18T11:46:00.000+08:00

My Personal Account

The mayoral problem

The mayoral couple had been in power in Daguioman municipality for 12 years. The husband for two terms and the wife for another two. “Winning” this year’s elections gives the wife another term in office. Before the couple’s ascendancy to power, the wife’s father was mayor for two or three terms before he died. Some people say they were not abusive during their first term in office. But because absolute power corrupts absolutely, the Daguioman tragedy, thus, began,

Daguioman’s story is really no different from what we often hear in the news: a family ruling for so many years, executive power transfers from father to mother to son or daughter. Power derived through cheating and vote-buying.

But Daguioman’s case is special in my eyes for an obvious reason. The ruling family are primarily low lander Chinese-Ilokano while the ruled are the Tingguians, a Cordilleran indigenous minority. This is why it hurts so much whenever any of the mayoral family goes about threatening, coercing and hurting residents who refuse to bow to their biddings. Or whenever I hear of anyone there who cannot claim their pawned land back because the couple refuses to accept payment or imposes 100% percent interest. The mayoral couple uses money, threats and guns, and pawned land as their leverage to make the people of Daguioman vote for them. Those who refuse to be bought or coerced, land the same faith as myself—receiving death threats and harassment.

I have so many Chinese friends whom I love so much. The couple I talk about here is of a different breed.

Satellite rule

There is no doctor. No medicines in the municipal clinic. The mayor and her family live in Bangued and rarely visit their constituents. Daguiomane is 60 kilometers of mostly-rough-roads away from Bangued. Daytime office hours at the Daguioman municipal hall, you will see employees either chatting or watching television. Most of the current municipal employees are casual, not permanent, another leverage to ensure votes.

You will not see employees overseeing an important municipal project, ever. Most of the roads and municipal building were built at the time of the wife’s father. If there are road works, they are just one or two here and there. On several occasions, residents allege that national and non-government projects such as reforestation and road works did not push through simply because the mayoral couple refuses anyone who would not transfer project funds into their hands.

Awakening

I turned a blind eye to all these until I fell victim to mayoral corruption and abuse. It was after the July 2004 typhoon Igme that I planned to bring a medical mission to Daguioman. Typhoon Igme washed out a third of all the rice fields and destroyed roads leading to Bangued. The mayor did not visit her constituents right after the typhoon. She visited weeks after, once via helicopter and that’s it. Seeing this, I decided to organize a medical mission to Daguioman. I raised funds through a concert in Manila and used the proceeds to fund the transportation of doctors and students of the medicine school of Saint Louie University in Baguio City. I wrote the mayor and her councilors about this medical mission. The councilors were verbally appreciative while the mayor and her husband forbade me from pushing through with bringing doctors, medicines and rice supply to Daguioman. The mayoral couple gave the condition that I should dispose the funds and medicines into their hands and cancel the mission. After several attempts of explaining to them that Daguioman needs a medical mission, and finding that the couple are really hard on dissuading me, I decided to push through as planned. Even after prohibition, I still indicated the protocol “thanks to Mayor…” note in my medical missions streamers. 16-18 October 2004 were medical mission days, the mayor prohibited people from participating and having themselves medically checked by the mission doctors. But, still, many people came. We spent half-day missions in the four barangays of Daguioman and exhausted all the medicines for the people. The mission did not cure all ailments, but it did help cure the hopelessness. I did a rice distribution mission after that, in December of the same year.

During and after the missions, I had been branded a communist, pointing to my being University of the Philippines student as “proof.” I once cried in a town plaza meeting while explaining to the accusers that I am not communist or an NPA, I am just a concerned citizen willing to bring help. I have told that several times to the town police but I am not sure if they hear me right or they refuse to hear me at all.

Inevitable witness

Come election time May 2007, I did what ordinary citizens would do. I campaigned for the candidates I believe would really help Daguioman. My husband joined the ticket as councilor-candidate with Lyndon Basingan, a respected elder in Daguioman, as mayoral candidate.

And there went the Cokue family again, they did what they did and did. For the past elections, vote buying and coercion have been their game. The people themselves alleged that the couple buys out key people in the Board of Election Inspectors (BEI), the municipal COMELEC officer, and most of the local police. In the May 2004 elections, I was a mere voter. May 2007, I was a wife of a candidate and, more importantly, a poll watcher.

Being a poll watcher pushed me to video document and capture just some of the anomalies. Daguioman municipality has only a thousand plus voters. Here, you see, monitoring who votes whom in what polling precinct is quite easy. Coercive business negotiations provide the template for this. Elections have become a risky but overcompensating business. You have the right amount of investment--money, guns and goons-- you secure a business empire that steadily rakes profit from the municipal Internal Revenue Allocation.

Similar to their tactic for the May 2004 elections, the husband and wife mayoral couple both filed candidacy. Right before the elections, the husband withdrew.

Unlike in May 2004 where the bought voters had their own codes, e.g. “batman,” “papaitan ni josie” written on the ballots to indicate that they fulfilled their part of the contract, the bought voters for May 2007 were asked to allow the couple’s poll watchers as well as some of the bought BEIs see what they wrote in their ballots, before depositing it in the ballot box. Such scheme was obvious when on May 14, in precincts 3a and 7a, the secrecy folders were laid down such that poll watchers would indeed see what voters write. In precincts 1a and 2a where secrecy folders were up, the voting booths and watchers were placed in a way that watchers would still see what voters write.

About the bought voters, BEIs and COMELEC officer, it seems that the pattern of persuasion, especially for the last two, is be bought or be dead. Who would not accept money given by force? Refusal is like a sentence of possible death.

The rise of the vote contractors

What bothers me more is how some natural community leaders aid in propagating the political business empire. They have become contractors and subcontractors in buying votes. A community leader is made to promise a specific amount of votes in exchange for a specific amount of money.

More than the vote-coercion, vote –buying and systemic cheating, the core trouble in Daguioman is the grabbing of land. Without paid work, a doctor to consult and medicines to use, many farmers in Daguioman are forced to pawn their lands to the mayor’s family. Once pawned, farmers are not able to redeem their land even if appropriate payment is being given simply because the mayor and her husband refuse to accept the payment. Some farmers fear that their land had already been titled to the mayor’s children. The indigenous customary law, including the elder system, has been abolished. The traditional law of pawning of land has been trashed by the mayoral couple. I hate to see the day when indigenous farmers are left with no land to till because the land they and their ancestors own are in the hands of the lowland Chinese Ilokano, who have traces of Tingguian blood. I am not invoking fundamentalism but fearing its inevitable rise because racism and ethnicism are just too blatant.

Cultural loss

Tragic would be the day when most of the people in Daguioman have no longer identified with their own cultural identity because someone from the lowland have imposed their own greed as law. Diminishing culture and identity forces others to leave Daguioman and re-settle in other places. Those who remain either allow themselves to be used or suffer the persecution of not being bought. Physical and emotional displacement is cultural displacement. If indigenous dignity has been marred, who would dance the romantic Tadek or collective Changa-i then? Who would deliver a heart-felt Oggayam or teach the young ones with Ading? Some would still, but with money in their hearts and guns in their mouths.

Footage

The videos I took were simply to aid in the big story of what is really happening in Daguioman. Flaws in election process, illegal disqualification of a watcher, omissions in ballot numbers, verbal and physical harassment of people who refuse to be bought, assault and death threats to a poll watcher--these are merely snippets of what I and so many other people in Daguioman experience and witness.

Some of the footage have already been aired at the 6:30 p.m. TV Patrol World channel 2 and 10:00 p.m.World Tonight at ANC, yesterday, May 17. Articles about my plight were also posted at Inquirer and ABSCBN Interactive. Please note one error in the Inquirer article, it was the son of the mayor, not the husband, who publicly issued a death threat at me. But please note that the husband is the mastermind of all these schemes. A genius of tricks. I just hope I could surpass that with my will to expose such tricks.

I am back!!!

2007-05-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

after months of hibernation from blogging. i am back, to this one. what inspired me to go back to blogging about feminist angst and the like is the fact that we always encounter men who fear strong and outspoken women. my friend called this phenomenon in males the "castration anxiety". you usually encounter them in offices, including the NGO enviroment, where all people claim to promote people's welfare, whether male or female. The fact is there are so many guys in the NGO world who are fu***ng sexist! They hide beneath their formal attires and mannerisms! But the truth-- they are totally scared of women who can read them and will not bow down to their small dicks!

bORACAY

i just returned from a gig with my beloved bandmates in Pinikpikan for a bikini contest featuring male and female contestants. boracay is a beautiful island with a beautiful sun but it is getting crowded with bars that keep on playing the deafening artificial music. boracay now seems to a microcosm of the earth.. a small island with too many people, less trees, less space for flora and fauna. ...i would like to share this pix i took from there. it is still a beautiful place. you can find more photos from the Pinikpikan gigs in Boracay and Bacolod at the Pinikpikan blog later in the night. it might take some time to get all the photos uploaded.

W-Works

2006-10-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

newest endeavor... before i finally shut down this personal blog. i am starting a new blog just focused on feminisms...

Music in Film

2006-10-02T12:01:00.000+08:00

Been immersing myself on film books... I am quite excited that I would be able to teach Music in Film to U.P. Film students next semester. Well, I am no Ryan Cayabyab or Jaime Fabregas but I do know some tricks to composing for film and would love to share these to younger generations. Nah, we will not jot down music notes here (I am not into this), it will have more workshops and on-the-spot composing and emotion-sensitivity-creativity musical imagination enhancements chuva whatever. In this class, you do not have to read music, you just have to be able to imagine, sing or play it. Believe me, mas mahirap gawin ito for most people. Gotta go back to reading now.

blurb burp

2006-09-17T22:06:00.000+08:00

Seeing the MTV Music Awards, right in the heart of America land, the global index and template of civilization, lifestyle, culture and what-have-you for punggok (short) brownies like the mixed up schizophrenically confused Filipino nation--I keep wondering where we (if our generation lives long) and hyper-driven-for- success younger generations will end up aside from worsening illusions of special missions in life to be great and just simply great.

Everything great has to be grand. Especially for the glitter-obsessed blacks, whites-whanna-be-blacks, blacks-slowly-becoming whites hip rap artists.

One great thing about the show was that Pink, the trannie-like innovator of the stupid girl video, won for best pop video. Another was Al Gore burping his own stuff on climate change. Kahit papaano, these two were winners.

Concert for Eve September 12

2006-09-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

Love is all about respect and tolerance.
Discrimination sucks.

Here is Eve-olution Concert 2006! click>>

Something from the organizers:

"Eve-olution is a play on the words Eve, evolution and revolution. The intention is to project the image of the woman as continually evolving, and simultaneously, of the woman being at the forefront of the gender “revolution”. The Eve-olution (Celebrating Women) concert intends to establish a fund for women’s causes (and for this year the beneficiaries will be women living with HIV/AIDS and survivors of violence against women), as well as to provide a creative venue for projecting women’s issues and concerns. Women’s groups can explore the possibility of Eve-olution being an annual activity to carry out these objectives. "

"The premiere of Eve-olution this year celebrates the 25th anniversary of the Philippines’ ratification of the U.N. Convention for the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). The concert will therefore particularly highlight the gains that women have achieved to date and the challenges that women continue to face today. The concert mood shall be generally celebratory. Still, the concert will feature songs, dances, poems and videos performed by various artists and performers conveying messages related to women’s causes, such as: Equality between men and women benefits all; Women’s rights are human rights; and Women, organize... Exercise our rights! "

SEPTEMBER 12
U.P. Theater
University of the Philippines
Diliman, Quezon City

what makes me happy

2006-08-29T21:23:00.000+08:00

happiness is
a cup of freshly brewed coffee
chirping birds on a gentle morning light
a breeze of clean air
an hour or two or more of my exercise
a nicely done anti-stress massage
the scent and taste of hot real green tea in my teacher's house
a return of Xena the Warrior Princess television series
unlimitext
a bar of chocolate in my down moments
freshly baked spanish bread
an intelligent and relaxed conversation
music tripping in a cool and cozy sensurround room
crystal clear river full of fish to hunt
tequila
tequila
tequila

sometimes, we have to remind ourselves what makes us truly happy

peace photo contest, join na!

2006-08-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

I am sure I do not have to elaborate on the peace situation in the Philippines.... calling everyone who believes in the possibility of a peaceful Philippines... join na.
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Call for Photo Works for the Visions of Peace Photo Gallery

September is National Peace Consciousness Month and the United Nations celebrates September 21 as the International Day of Peace.

In pursuance of promoting public consciousness on peace possibilities in the country, the Government of the Republic of the Philippines-Monitoring Committee (GRP-MC) is coming up with a peace photo gallery,which will be launched within September/October 2006.

GRP-MC is inviting students, professionals, photography enthusiasts and others to submit photo works exploring themes related to peace.

Works can explore answers to questions such as:
How do we achieve peace in the Philippines?
What is your vision of peace?
Where or with what does peace start?
What will make peace possible in the Philippines?

Photos may vary in size from 4 x 5 to 15 x 17 inches, in black and white or colored.

Persons whose works have been selected for exhibition in the GRP-MC peace photo gallery will receive Php 2,000 to 5,000 cash plus certificate. Those whose works have not been selected will receive a special prize token and certificate.

PLEASE SUBMIT EARLY.

With your submission, attach a piece of paper that indicates:
Your Name
Age
Address
School or Organization (if any)
Contact Numbers (landline, mobile phone, fax, etc.)
The date and place you took the photo
A short description of what the photo wants to tell

Send photos to
Photo Contest
GRP-MC Secretariat
6TH Floor Immaculate Conception Multi-Purpose Building
41 Lantana Street, Cubao 1111 Quezon City, Philippines

Submissions will be accepted until 21 September 2006.

For inquiries, email < jmcgrp.comm@ yahoo.com> or < info@grpmc-jmc. org>, or call (63-2) 725-4621.
============ ==============
Secretariat of the Government of the Republic of the Philippines-Monitoring Committee (GRP-MC)
Office of the Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process (OPAPP)
6TH Floor Immaculate Conception Multi-Purpose Building
41 Lantana Street, Cubao 1111Quezon City, Philippines
Telephone: 63-2-7254621
Fax: 63-2-7253430
Email: info@grpmc-jmc. org; jmcgrp.comm@ yahoo.com
Website: http://www.grpmc- jmc.org
==========================

Sa labas ng kahon

2006-08-26T20:52:00.000+08:00

Huwag mo akong ikahon
Na parang regalong may takdang sukat at hubog

Huwag mo akong ituring na isang drowing
Isang tanawing di na magbabago at di maglalaho

Ako ay tubig na patuloy ang daloy
Kahit anong subok ay di madadakot

Huwag mo akong ituring na isang iskript
O karakter na maaring iguhit

Hindi ako maniquin o manikang papel
Na maaring lagyan ng label

Ako ay hanging umiihip at humahambalos
Na di maaring mayapos

Huwag mo akong
Isilid
Sukatin
Timbangin.

Huwag mo akong ikahon.

Bleeding Heart

2006-08-22T14:21:00.000+08:00

My heart bleeds red and sorrowful
My body shaking and my head circling
My vision is blurred by a hale of tears
Justice is promised by the liars

I am drained of waiting
I am nourished by indignance
Even Jesus had a righteous anger
Against those who profit in God's name

What shall it profit a man if he gains
the whole world and loses his own soul?
What shall it profit thee if you kill your enemy?
Only more enemies, more to kill lest you be killed first.

What shall it profit thee?

hitting the target and evading the point

2006-08-21T22:02:00.000+08:00

Pow! And counting....

Not just between the blues and the reds, with the "unintended civilian casualties." I also see those who worry everyday whom to ask for rice or bagoong, where to find a doctor, how to get medicines, and so on. I wonder how much rice and kilometers of irrigation canals that funds spent for war materials can buy and construct?

You mean silence the enemy and we will all be happy? Sorry, I am not convinced, and that does not mean I am your enemy, silly. And please, if I am not on your side, that does not mean I am with the other side. Dualities have long been debunked, the world is round not flat. Try drinking more bilog.

The great war tactician Sun Tzu said, " All warfare is based on deception". In our case, we claim to desire peace but contending forces intend to achieve it through armed confrontation. And everyone knows that the path towards peace is through common ground of values, not deception. The Cordillerans have long applied this since the advent of the "budong" or peace pacts.

But deception rules; common sensical peacemaking is evaded.

Bloodshed on both sides of the fence. National brain-drain is not just through migration.

Philippine Idol-ing

2006-08-06T21:20:00.000+08:00

Hay, finally got back to this blog after more than a week of playing slave para mabuhay. I just came back from a weekend meeting.. . and happened, by chance, to watch the show Philippine Idol aired over ABC 5.

Watching Philippine Idol is watching how we are, as a country, in cultural identity and mindset-- brown hilaw and Sharon Cuneta-Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala* believers dominated the kind of performances and mindsets (some were interviewed) I saw.

We are hilaw but we do not like hilaw, meaning something that is supposed to have been cooked but was not well-cooked. It is like rice that has finished boiling and cooked outside until you see the insides, just like an identity that is at nowhere, nasa alangan. Kung hilaw ka na naghihinug-hinugan, tatawanan ka lang, kahit wala kang natirang pamasahe pabalik papunta sa probinsya nyo. Ay, pasiyensa na kamo day. Dili ka ma-accept.

As always, those who have crossed or can cross over as singer-dancers who pass the accepted pop standard of how a performer should look, sing and move pass the audition. But I do appreciate that the judges Pilita C, Ryan C. and Francis M. accept Bisaya performers. They event accepted one transgender, I think she is pre-op. They accepted them even if it is obvious they won't pass another audition. Please do prove me wrong.

Philippine Idol is not just about finding the Philippine Idol and that's it. It is also shows how dyslexic we are in cultural identity. While the show's intellectual property holder knew how profitable it is to expose people's feelings of triumph and defeat as well as bravado and absurdity, even often make fun of misplaced ambitions and characters, the show franchise in the Philippines shows who we are and what we are, in the singular and plural senses.

Sometimes we see blind, sometimes cross-eyed... sometimes, we see that we refuse to see our seen and obvious selves. Keep on watching Philippine Idol--labanan ng mga hilaw at hinog, good luck na lang sa mga sunog at dugyot. Hiram lamang ang ating katauhan.
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*tomorrow the stars will kneel down

essay competition: human rights and democracy

2006-07-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

Everyone, you are invited to join this essay-writing competition:

"The Ateneo Human Rights Center in partnership with the Friedrich Naumann Foundation is sponsoring an essay-writing competition on the question: Does the universality of human rights require a particular type of democracy?"

That is a very interesting and tricky question, isn't it? Should I give my real answer or the answer wanted of me? Hehe. Join tayo.

View details.

Template of Beauty

2006-07-24T09:07:00.000+08:00

I watched the replay of Ms. Universe 2006, held in the global hegemonic USA, in Los Angeles. All beautiful women, fitting the standards of the 'thankyou doc' beauty industry. The small waistline that was rare before --and owned by a select few like wonder woman Linda Carter-- is now a common thing; high noses, cheeks-skin-legs in wood varnish finish, most candidates speaking in English with accents spiced up with native tongue slur. Different nations but same built and walk and poise.

Ms. Universe is supposed to be about representing one's country and nationality but here we are watching a bunch of beauties with relatively different origins but something tells you they all went through the same beauty global business machinery. Wide smile lips, eyes wide open, long -thin arms and legs.

It is bothering that candidates are too thin for comfort. I think I saw someone about to faint! Where were the Gloria Diaz days when contestants were genuinely bubly and alive?!

Where were the days beauties were representative of their people's natural features? More than half of the contestants have obviously mixed with the conquistadores bloods. Ms. India, Ms. Argentina and the likes look more like Farah Fawcett than native beauties!

Carson of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, features as one of the hosts, overshadowing his partner host, a former Ms. Universe-USA. Carson, noticing the the contestants' hairs even commented that there are so many contestants with blond hair. Lots of Farah Fawcetts in the bunch.

Bikini hypno
Okay, the bikini portion parade of bodies with only the suso and pekpek covered was so hypnotic it made me stop thinking. Top that with a barrage of corporate sponsors-- Skin White (especially for black and brown skins!), Fitness (or thinness) from Nestle, Xenical weight loss, Cover Girl make up.

Bland
The stage design and the evening gown colors are just so bland, like food without garnish. Kulang sa asin, sili at bawang! Tastes of the shwe-shwe ruled the night. Boring... Hmm.. no wonder, my friend just told me the gowns, just like the swimwears, come from one designer. Monopoly spares no design.

Origins
I decided to look up Ms. Universe's origins and it says, shortly in one paragraph, that the beauty contest originated from a "bathing suit" contest in Long Beach, California spearheaded by Catalina Swimwear. Ms. Universe is all about swimwear and bodies, that fuzz about humanitarian service is an add on to give the contest a diplomatic flavor. The one-para history did not indicate the year of that Long Beach contest. It did not trace how this bathing suit contest became a global addiction.

Q andA
Eventually, the top five finalists were USA, Switzerland, Japan, Paraguay, Puerto Rico and Japan. Each contestant plus Ms U 2005 wrote a question in pieces of paper raffled in bowl.

Switzerland answered something about the importance of not losing one's family. USA answered that her desire to always do something, to help, correct and get disappointed with herself if she fails is perhaps one of her biggest flaws. Japan said something very intelligent, she spoke against violence and the male tendency for it. I forgot what Paraguay said. Puerto Rico, whose question was from Ms U 2005, defined success as achieving one's goals and that obstacles make you stronger.

Puerto Rico bagged the prize. The girl with the overused answer to the simpleton question won. So that is it. Do not expect something deeper in purpose. Latina beauty pageant schools know this. Ms U is a parade of women vying to be the ideal that the beauty and glamour mega industries dictate. Do not go for deeper transformative service, especially now that nation-states are in war. Do not even speak against any sort of violence. You can be beautiful and self-mutilate all you want, but never be too intelligently provocative. That is the way to win the pageant.

Duh- duh- duh- dumb.
---------
P.s. Our very own Ms Philippines won Ms Photogenic. Thanks so much to online voting that empowers us text and internet savvy Filipinos. Trunezz!

Bench sitter

2006-07-24T07:15:00.000+08:00

Government has declared a state of war, the rebels refuse to yield. Hopes for peace talks are unsure. The President is scheduled to deliver a state of the nation address today. I fear watching another confrontation between anti-Gloria rallyists and police. In the streets and in the mountains, the scent of bloodshed haunts us. When will all these fighting stop? Up to when do we just watch the government troops and the left kill each other in a war of propaganda, guns and pride? Where are throngs of feminists who always have something to say? Where are the non-violence advocates? Where are the anti-war advocates? Where are we? Where am I?

asserting feminism

2006-07-12T23:34:00.000+08:00

One reason why we should go to womyn's nights is the reality that patriarchy is very much alive and feminism in being declared dead.

If feminism is dead, we do CPR and revive it. If it is stuck along with the oldies who won't let go of their privileged feminist privileges, we grab our duties and continue working towards a world where respect for different genders is not a privilege, not just a right, but a natural state of mind.

Have you ever experienced being ignored by two men talking and exchanging toasts and boasts even if you had something important to say and what you say actually determines the two's conversation? Have you ever been assessed based solely on how your hair looked, what make-up you put on and what dress you wore that day? Did you have to be offensive just so you could defend yourself? Did you have to be twice as good so you could be treated as an equal?

No matter what frustations we have with Feminism-- in its many contradicting variations-- we still need it. It is still relevant. We have to hang on to it.

e-poster and official invite for womyn's night

2006-07-12T00:27:00.000+08:00

See the official announcement at http://dahondahondyaryo.blogspot.com

Womyn's Night @ Penguin on 19th July

2006-07-08T12:18:00.000+08:00

19th of July is another night of womyn's music and poetry. Isha, homegrown talent mix of Tori Amos and Madonna (ayus ba Peach? hehe=) with a Pinay angst, sings and plays the keyboard with a guiarist in tow, and Carol Bello Bandidas, an all womn group of Carol--cute vocalist of Pinikpikan (hihi! kapalmuks), famed low-profile guitarist Teta, and other girrls Divine, Kwami, Frances, Jhen (used to be with U.P. Kontragapi), and Malou (percussionist na kasa-kasama ni Cynthia Alexander, dati rin with Joey A.), perform original and cover songs with a set of percussions and guitars.

Amidst all the violence in this world and this country, there are womn who would like to have time to just sit back, relax, have wine or beer or tequila and just be with other womn and friendly people and men.

Not just referring to the violence such as the bombings and the never ending internal and international conflicts powered by arms trade, we also refer to rude stereotypes against certain genders such as that grimy liar Heads and Shoulders commercial 'Uy, Ay--Uy ang ganda, Ay hindi pala (Oh Beautiful, Oh Not)--packed in a whole music video with all male members Brown Man Revival and Sugar Free singing about women who are beautiful but aren't because they have dandruff. After the tiring clips about women with dandruff, Angel Locsin of Darna comes in with dandruff free hair. The commercial was so f*#@ing long. .. the advertisers failed this time. "Because far more men than women have dandruff, some researchers think male hormones may play a role in dandruff. Men also have larger sebaceous glands that produce an oil called sebum." (http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00456.html)

Of course, we protest the political killings in this country that is supposed to be democratic and respectful of people's right to their own opinion and persuasions.

Why Bandidas.., because we rebel against all forms of discrimination, violence against women, negative stereotypes, double standards, objectification, and commodification of womn's bodies. But that does not mean we don't like sex or men or dykes or femmes or bis or trannies, baby.

Yeah. I like my own pussy but dominant images such as the Pussy Cat Dolls are a confused bunch of hot felines. I like to be confused sometimes but not be swallowed by it and stuck my pussy into it. The lead singer Fil-Am's lips look like very much like a vagina without pride. But then again, we are not against sexual freedoms. We love sex, we love freedom. In a world where speech and suppression of it is power, I want my lips to look like my vagina and also be a wellspring of thoughts, insights and aspirations too.

Okay, so much for this juicy angst. See you on the 19th of July, 9 p.m. --girl boy bakla tomboy tomgirl tomtom tung and so on. Penguin, also known as Rock Ola Cafe is near Remedios Circle in Malate, along the corner of Changko Khuya Restaurant (or a name that sounds like this).

Bring 150 pesos entrance fee and you get one drink free; bring a poem/song or two or just speak what-have-you.

---
P.S. I have been trying to post the event poster to no avail...will try to post it again later.

amidst the crossfire

2006-06-24T21:00:00.000+08:00

To live amidst armed conflict is no life cliche'. Just a few weeks ago, I saw that people who have lived amidst violent political struggles for so many generations, like most humans, never get used to violence.

Group A of the two warring groups in my adopted hometown, or more precise to say the town that adopted me, almost opened fire against suspected enemies Group B. Occasional firing had been going on outside the residential areas since mid morning of that day. But in the afternoon, Group A sent grade and highschool students and teachers either running towards their homes or hiding inside school buildings when the group announced that suspected Group B members are inside the community.

I saw the kids crying like they wanted to go back into their mothers' womb, parents scrambling for their children. People, faces in deceivingly quiet panic, in nervous calmness shut close nipa windows.

Open fire inside the community did not happen that day. The municipal police chief told Group A that the latter just mistook some community residents for Group B members. Not surprising since they also mistook the police chief, who walking to his house from his farm somewhere in the mountains, as a Group B member shortly before police chief slid into his uniform.

What could have happened if Group A was right and they opened fire at Group B within the community? What could have happened if group A was wrong and still opened fire?

As always, between warring groups, the civilians in the middle always bear the unjust burden of running/hiding for their lives.
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The flower in the picture was a witness.

maari bang ilaga ang baril at ihain sa hapag kainan?

2006-06-20T10:49:00.000+08:00

pasintabi na lamang po. nais kong magsulat sa tagalog-filipino. nababagabag lang ako sa mga balitang nasagap sa telebisyon. isang bilyong piso ang ilalaan para palakasin ang AFP, kasama na ang mga armas na bibilhin, para sugpuin ang mga rebelyon.

kung nais talaga ng gobyerno na magkaroon ng kapayapaan sa bansa, bakit baril, at hindi pagkain, trabaho at kaunlaran ang paglaanan ng pera? kung ang mga perang ito ay tulong mula sa ibang bansa, sa bansa o mga bansa rin bang iyon bibili ng armas? bakit di paglaanan ng pondo ang mga krimen tulad ng kidnapping, dangerous drugs trade? kawawa mga kaibigan kong intsik, laging takot makidnap.

ni hindi talaga tayo natuto sa turo nina kristo at buddha, atbp., hay.

ayon pa sa balita, unavoidable daw ang civilian casualties? o Diyos ko (talaga pong dasal ito) ilayo nyo po kami sa masasama. iligtas mo po ang bayang 'Pinas.

kahirapan ang problema ng bansa. cure the illness, not just the symptoms.

Mga readings at websites kung trip nyo magbasa:

news:
http://news.inq7.net/nation/index.php?index=1&story_id=79751
http://news.inq7.net/breaking/index.php?index=1&story_id=79440

nonviolence:
http://www.gandhiinstitute.org
http://www.nonviolenceinternational.net

Bagulbol sa araw ng kalayaan/Griping on independence day

2006-06-12T18:46:00.000+08:00

Last week, nag-nenok ako (i got) two doves from a wedding reception in Makati. Our band played for the newly-weds and their guests. The couple released 100 doves; not all doves were able to fly away to freedom. I think half of the doves stayed on the tree branches and some even hopped around the floor.

So I got those two doves and brought them home. But the two are like chickens, they do not fly. They flap their wings once in a while and walk around the house, pecking here and there.

Bandmate bassist Louie Talan said maybe it is because they have been in the cage all their lives and released only when bought for wedding receptions.

So I call those doves chicken.

They are just like us, aren't they? When we celebrate independence day, do we really feel that independence? Do we really fly? Or do we take the stairs, or any device to pretend that we are actually using our wings to reach our dreams?

Is it real peso appreciation if it comes from foreign direct investments in the form of investments on detructive large-scale mining, displacing communities and livelihoods? Or portfolio investments that can actually leave the country in a snap?

Do we get elected because we truly deserve it or because we took the stairs of goons, guns and gold?

Why do we love New York up to now?

Is a victory sign atop a pile of dead activists a symbol of truimph of peace?

Just how do we reach our dreams? Do we walk around and peck at other people?

The symbol of our independence are still doves. But they are doves like my chicken doves. I just hope it won't take another 400 years to teach them to fly.

Disturbing the peace

2006-06-09T10:59:00.000+08:00

Peace itself as a concept is an ambigious, vague and elusive word. I realized reading and talking about it is way much easier than struggling for it.

How do you speak of peace if the gun is pointed into your mouth?
How do you tell people to speak if silence is survival?
How do you speak of rights, if all the time is spent looking for food?
How can you be secured of the rule of law in a schizophrenic land?
How long can you convince a person trained to trigger the gun not to shoot?
How do you call for lasting truce among parties determined to outwin each other?
How can I ever stop my armed offender with a plough and prayer?

So many questions. So many answers. But violence eventually persists.

Enough is enough is enough

2006-06-08T22:19:00.000+08:00

What is a copycat? According to Miriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, copycat: one who adopts or copies the behavior or practices of another. What is plagiarism? The same reference says, plagiarize: to steal or pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own.

More than a decade in the music industry allowed me to see just how many musicians are not just copycats but are actually plagiarizers. Being a copycat is not really bad, because it means recognizing who the original is, and acknowledging being inspired by or imitating that original. In many ways, it is good for both original and copycat.

To be a plagiarizer is unforgivable. Whew, I have seen guys who would steal your ideas right before your eyes. Even if you make them know that you are not happy with them doing that.

Being a woman who has to be twice as good just to be on equal footing with the man is already a burden. But not to be adequately recognized, if not unrecognized, for artistic and creative agency, for so many times? ...."Enough is enough is enough is enough..."

The wanna-be Britney Spears are truer than the pretentious trailblazers.

Missing Magdelene

2006-05-29T14:00:00.001+08:00

(Goddess Sheelah Na Gig, photo by Gareth Lloyd Hughes, http://www.powys.gov.uk/index.php?id=2150&L=0)

All that religious experts' fuzz about the religious fiction book of Dan Brown made more people even more curious about the worship of God as female. In some archeological books, the utter devotion of the Roman Catholic religious to the Virgin Mary is traced to Goddess worship of much older times, preceeding the worship of God as male.

Virgin Mary could have been part of the many transformation of the Goddess in many cultures, transforming partly as an adaption to the reign of male-dominated cultures-- She is Iambe or Baubo, Sheelagh/Sheila/Sheelah Na Gig, Quan Yin, Isis, Iris, Gaia, Bathaluman (Filipino Tagalog), and so on.

Some Goddess names are found in this site: http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/amethystbt/goddessnames.html

I am now curious what part of the Goddess that Mary Magdalene fills in. If Virgin Mary is the virgin/saint and Magdalene is the vamp/sinner, perhaps the two make up a personality of the Goddess, perhaps of every woman. Utilization of both personalities being important to women who desire a sane, wild and meaningful life.

Dan Brown's book actually points out an omission that makes much stronger the male story of humankind. The passive, supportive, innocent Virgin elevated to great heights while the knowing, experienced Magdalene was played down and referred to as the prostitute, a lumpen who reformed. Most of male society has always been afraid of the knowing woman. A knowing woman knows man-- his fears, wants and weaknesses.

Yet, what I do not like about the fiction book is that it insisted the Magdalene was of royal blood decent and covered up her being prostitute ( a knowing woman), to justify her right to be revered. In the chart of royal bloodlines, the royal blood line came from King David, then Christ, then the offspring of Christ and Magdalene, aside from Magdalene being royal blood also. Enough of that royal blood thing. Please. Royal bloodedness is a fiction created by people, by society. A label and privilege created to justify the rule and abundance of the few over vast lands with many starving and hardworking masses.

The woman, her importance, as always throughout history, is revered, respected or voted(!) for her royal lineage via her father, forefathers or husband(s).

The book missed the potentially powerful essence of the person of Magdalene. It is not scary to male-dominated society after all.

Pinoy X-Tao

2006-05-27T15:04:00.000+08:00

X-Men rocks. Of all the powerful characters, in the end, the rebel, dugyot (dirty, poor), lost, impulsive, unpredictable,'uneducated' Logan/Wolverine saved the day. I like that. I like Wolverine. True, transparent, willing to take risks and suffer pain. A character lacking in so many people today. Everyone is just so into their own power and well publicized causes.

I almost cried when Charles Xavier was killed by Jean Grey (but later on after the movie credits, Charles seemed to have transported his character into another body, so he is not that dead after all). It reminded me of our vanishing wise elders, being replaced by the likes of Magneto. I thought of Jovito Salonga (still very much alive today) who ran for president of this country once. I voted for hom but he lost. This country will continue losing its chances if it keeps on listening to the Magnetos.

Maiba nga ako... my friend and I have been thinking of X-men names for Pinoys:

Girl Bawang-- garlic breath that disintegrates anything in the way

Okay ka ba Chant--super sonic wail that induces earthquakes, floods and the heating up of air

Super Pork- ability to create pork dishes like sisig, crispy pata, etc. and compel the enemy to buy beer and have a good time, the enemy then dies of stroke

Porklet- anak ni Super Pork

Starlet - the sexy dancer who can hypnotize the enemy to sit down and feel his kamachohan, while starlet strikes for the kill; starlet sexy dances to the tune of "From a distance" by Bette Midler

VATman- the tax genius who kills via manipulating tax dues of his enemies until they become too poor and powerless

Ginoong Trapo - the villain who has endless supply of guns and goons, has four eyes, two noses, two mouths, six stomachs, eight hands, four feet and one small d*ck

Want to add a character?

watch Da Vinci movie

2006-05-27T14:35:00.000+08:00

I saw Da Vinci Code the movie just the other day.

So many people were eager to watch the controversial movie, lining up in non-SM theaters, many among them wanting to see what the fuzz is all about. Bad business move for SM, I think, because there is more probability now that people will flock to non-SM theaters to watch movies. This time, conservatism is bad for business.

The Roman Catholic Church and the local government of Manila City must have seen something in the movie that compelled them to denounce and ban it...

I don't think the roman catholic religious who have been campaigning against the movie have actually seen the movie, except if you are tight-assed. The movie is all about probabilities and another view of Christianity, it isn't even against Christianity. It is not even against Opus Dei. If there is something that it is against, it is clearly against using religion and religious power/authority to secure selfish ends. Jesus preached about this, particularly whenever he referred to the Pariseo and Saduceo, religious high rankers during His time on earth.

It seems high rankers still have not learned lessons of ages ago. They use religious power to tell people, businesses and governments what to see, what to ban. Opinion could have been enough. Curtailing freedom to watch a movie is just way too much.

Babae sa Tag-ulan

2006-05-24T19:17:00.000+08:00

It is near rainy season (tag-ulan) and tonight is the closing program of our photo exhibit at Penguin Gallery near Remedios Circle, Malate.

I am really excited to see the djembe players and dancers from Burkina Faso. O yeah, to quote my Nigerian friend, it will be Yonki! night... just kidding, hehe.

Jamming with me are two teens (Divine and Kwami) my age, asa pa ako, hehe, actually about 2/3 of my age. Really cool girls with talent. Whenever I see their kind, I see hope for this schizophrenic country.

That is a sample photo from the exhibit, a kid just after a swim from the mountain river near a dam site.

Rice not Rights (wag mo basahin kung ikaw ay pikon)

2006-05-18T20:57:00.000+08:00

Excuse me, the rights I am referring to is rights movement of near-bogus or exactly bogus character.

NGOs--thanks to the Marcos, Cory, Ramos, Erap, Gloria eras for making them bloom and mushroom all over the place-- particularly the increasingly corporate-like ones, spend so much money for travel and publicity of rights causes; speaking as if they are one with the poor majority, the marginalized peoples. (People's and community organizations are a different a lot. I believe in them.)

Yes, being with NGOs for a long time made me analytical and be concerned about what's happening in the world, or even just this country. But now, I am seeing some NGO bosses use their organizations for career venture, if not a luxury and travel endeavors made to look like selfless service to the people. Kapalmuks no?

There are just so many of them pretending to be rights advocate when their talk is much much more than actual deeds. Travel here and there, all over the Phlippines and the world attending conferences, meetings and presenting papers read only by themselves because they are just so engrossed in their own words and worlds. Living in style, a citizen of the world, a world-class intellectual. If we convert their travel expenses and allowances to sacks of rice, we can feed so many communities, believe me.

We like to blame politicians for spending or taking money for the wrong things but who among corporate-like NGO top bosses is not doing it? Siguro meron pa. Sana. Pero kaunti na lang sila.

Pinoproblema daw ang usapin tungkol sa rights, may nagawa ka na ba para sa rice? Oo, rice para sa mga taong gutom, yung nasa malalayong lugar, yung mga hindi kayang umattend ng NGO conferences.

Gosh, hay naku, grabe... if you know what I mean. Ilagak nyo sa nararapat yang sandamukal na mulah na ninenenok nyo. Hinayupak kayo. Orocan, tupperware, ceramic ware, software, plasticware!

Bato-bato sa langit, tamaan please magalit! Now na!

O siya, matatanim pa ako ng kamote.

I hate drama!

2006-05-17T11:04:00.000+08:00

I love drama, only when it is fit for the script.

But last night in our Pinikpikan gig at the Clamshit, I mean, Clamshell in Intramuros, the drama artistas in charge were certainly Over Acting on a badly written script. Super OA, chingga*.

We were invited to perform at this dinner and welcoming night for the UNESCO International Theatre Institute World Congress.

At first, the music and the vibes were good. The groove was Maayo Man, which translates to English as “ Life is Good”. The audience, delegates from the world’s five continents, loved it.

After the 'life is good' feel, a certain OA Nick came in with his microphone, where he got it do not know, and asked the people “...Do we want them to continue? Shall we go on?? Blah.. blah”. He was explaining that they still have things to attend to, running out of time, etc. Embrassing, the way he said it. But the audience wanted us to continue.

Lacking convincing power on the audience, he approached me, like a matapobreng doña from Rizal’s Noli told me we can only perform for 10 minutes more. I said okay. I was actually referring him to our contact for the gig, the stage managers, telling them that he should inform them, instead of going to me onstage in front of an audience and instructing me like an Indio just like the great old conquistadores and makapili days.

We obeyed, I informed Sammy (music director) about Nick's instructions and we did another song, Diwata (fairy), a five-minuter.

We were then consuming less than 5 minutes and 30 seconds of that 10-minute thing he set for us…Sammy and I were introducing the next song, Kalipay, which means happiness. Happines turned to madness when Nick interrupted us again. I was in the middle of explaining what the word Kalipay means and what languages and rhythms it uses when Mr. Artiste shit it off again with his “Excuse me… blah blah… we have to blah blah …” He was actually telling the delegates they have to go. Yes, even if there were no buses outside to fetch them.

Pinikpikan still played a percussion version of Kalipay. We had to play the gongs, or else we would have given Nick what he deserves, a good scold in front of everyone.

The delegates watched on. Many did not leave until the last beat.

The band packed up....

You know, it was like the band did not exist for him, like we were mere entertainment dolls, like an exotic dish that could be served and disposed of anytime . Galing niya, puede siyang ambassador ng Pilipinas, noh? Nagkamali siya, we are not this kind of music for nothing. We did not keep silent for that night.

I went to this guy. I asked him what the problem was. He suddenly flared up and told me he does not need confrontation. I was just asking and there he was yelling… pointing me to the big bosses.

Explaining to his boss (a well-known figure in the elite art world) why we felt bad about Nick’s actions did not do good. She just did not listen and kept on justifying her colleague’s actions. At first she was justifying, later on, she was accusing. She said they are having many problems with the whole congress. Sa isip ko, ah ganun, kaya gumagawa pa kayo ng dagdag na problema sa pambabastos sa kapwa ninyo Filipino at artist?

I leave out other details here.

The night ended with Pinikpikan having a relaxing drink at Penguin. I had four tall shots of tequila, pero di pa rin ako nalasing o naging tipsy! But then, I went home feeling good because we made our stand, and I was laughing about how such people like Nick and his lady boss could be such among the top people in the Philippine arts world.They are just so over- acting their matapobre-alta sosyedad roles. A classic example of tumanda ng paurong.

That Nick messed up with his thingies and took it out on others. Filipinos really looked like crabs in a pot on a stove that night. What can I say? Great welcome party for foreign delegates. Great treatment of local artists. He did not even care to apologize.

Thanks Nick. Great advocacy for the arts.

Great crabby act. Watch out for the boiling point.

---
* A lovely word, Zamboangeñas use this word when they are super pissed off

no means no

2006-05-14T15:33:00.000+08:00

I've been watching a friend's collection of "L" Word series. Yes, non-Ls do watch this show too! And watching the series give us a lot to think about.

This line from the writer-near-psychotic character Jenny (season 2) is my latest favorite:

"...Because there isn't a single girl or woman in this world that hasn't been intruded upon, and sometimes it's relatively benign, and sometimes it's so fucking painful that you would have no idea what (it) feels like."

I try to look strong (and capable for violence) whenever I can especially when I am out for music gigs and drunk. But even if I do that, so many guys just do not know how to treat a woman nicely. When a woman does not want you, it would be so obvious... but some guys are just so into themselves that they do not ever take notice when a girl does not want them. Please guys, understand when a woman's eyes say "Fotah naman, kung trip kita pare, tinalo na kita kanina pa. Pero talagang di kita trip e!"

Help me God not to hurt an arrogant scrub.

Looking for Levis

2006-04-30T18:50:00.000+08:00

Nasubukan mo na bang mapunit ang pantalon sa tugtugan? Mga p're at m're, kagabi lang nasubukan ko na rin sa wakas... Hay...

Last night, we were in Subic in an earth day concert organized by Dmitri productions, a company headed by the one and only Lou Bonnevie (for those do not know yet, Lou is Pinikpikan's Billy Bonnevie's sister). Hanep talaga si Lou Bonnevie. Her group has been organizing this earth concert annually. She is one of the few artists na talagang bilib ako.

Well, back to my pantalon story. Ayun na nga, I originally wore corduroy pants but decided to wear my slacks instead because the former was too loose, pumayat kasi ako dahil sa food poisoning sa minatamis na saba!!! Syet. I love saging pa naman. Pero punyemas na canteen (private concessionaire sila, NOT u.p. food service) sa peyups na pinagbilhan ko, bakit nagre-recyle ng pagkain sa ganyang paraan!

Okay, balik sa last night sa Subic... Actually, di pa kami tumutugtog, sinabi ko na sa pamangkin ko na malamang mapupunit ang pantalon ko that night dahil di kaya ng manipis na tela ang ma-stretch kapag sumipa ako ng mataas. (Opo, I kick high sometimes kapag tumutugtog, ala lang, feel ko lang kasi gawin.)

True enough, napunit ang punyemas na gitna na aking pantalon sa kantang Kahimanawari... not sure if people in front of the stage saw it. But I am sure some of those onstage, like the PAs did saw may pants rip apart.

Shit happens.

Pero okay pa rin. It seemed that for the crowd, what mattered more was the music, more than the ripped pants.

Winner ang mga taga-Subic/Olongapot pagdating sa music! Happy earth month. Remember, REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE... wag lang po i-recycle ang pagkain na para sa tao!

Babae sa Tag-araw Photo Ex

2006-04-26T14:04:00.000+08:00

BABAE SA TAG-ARAW
(women in summer)

People, visit Penguin (Rock Ola) Gallery and Cafe along Remedios Circle, Malate. My friends and I are exhibiting photo works until 24th of May 2006. We launched the exhibit last night and, because of my 'kapal muks', I was able to sell two of my works.

Exhibitors are:

Carol Bello: i love
Damdamin: Capturing emotionscapes of people and nature

Libay Linsangan Cantor: Zoom In/Zoom Out
Nothing escapes her eyes. Libay is a keen observer of life and non-life, and a prolific orator of fact and fiction, image or word. Zoom in or out.

Indira Endaya: Sense of Wander

Aileen Familara: Urban Sense
Sentimental urbanite: Found texts in urban environment, jarring contexts, the absurd, the non-sequitur.

resurrecion

2006-04-18T09:55:00.000+08:00

Finally, finally, after a long bout of depression, I come out of my self-imposed penitence. Life, sometimes, becomes too much of a mix of tastes that we all get fed up with it.

Sage sayings are forever true. We eat to live, not live to eat. Because if we live to eat, and have more than we need, what we eat goes into our head and blows us up. I have seen people regress from spiritual beauty to selfish illusions and it is not a sight to behold. I fear so much of imitating them, so once in a while, I kill myself. Not softly, but suddenly.... Unlike Pinikpikan dish.

Two weeks of scouring for fish in the mountain rivers made me realize, once again, that food, air, water, heat, shelter, a bountiful of happiness, a few bouts of pain, and all other natural things--are what I need in life.

Confessions on the blog post

2006-03-26T10:12:00.000+08:00

When the witness is faker
When victim is oppressor
When the lawyer is liar
When the judge is judgemental
Should I put myself on trial?

When feminists discriminate
When friends hate
When advocacy is put to shame
And innocents are blamed
Should feminism be acclaimed?

When the gurus are ignorant
Selfishness is blatant
Spirituality is a fucked up chant
Self idolatry is a pechant
Can the naive be complainant?

Should I? Should? Can?

Just Quit?

2006-03-26T09:42:00.001+08:00

My take for now on the poem Don't Quit, whose author is Unknown.

Just Quit

When things go wrong, as they ALWAYS will
When the road you're trudging IS REALLY uphill
When the funds are NO MORE and the debts KILL YOU
you DON'T want to smile, AND you ALWAYS CRY

When care is pressing you TOO MUCH
Rest ALL THE WAY - JUST quit
Life is QUEER with its twists and turns AND OVERTURNS
As everyone of us NEVER learns

And many a failure turns about
When he might have won IN THE NEXT LIFE
COME ON give up, YOU CAN'T DANCE TO A pace SO slow
You might BE DEAD with another blow

Success is failure AND THAT'S IT
And you ALWAYS never can tell how close you are
It IS ALWAYS FAR when it seems so NEAR
THE FUCK WITH the fight EVEN when you're hardest hit
It's when things seem worst, That YOU HAVE TO QUIT!

(to 'Author Unknown' of the original poem, just forgive me, okay?)

Sweet sweat shop

2006-03-19T19:08:00.000+08:00

The Pinikpikan gig in 70s Bistro last night was a sweatshop. Unlike the maquiladoras who have been organizing to push for improved working conditions (know more about them and let us support them people), the women who sweat it all last night were there to enjoy and express their sensuality dancing to Pinikpikan music.

I love seeing women free themselves and not be afraid of showing how sexy they can get when the music is just so right. Yes, the men simply enjoyed the supple bodies and danced too. One thing special about Pinikpikan nights is that regardless of who you are, you can simply enjoy and dance. Pinikpikan gets inspiration from its audiences-- when people enjoy, we enjoy.

We simply love it when the audience turns into a living organism of hot bodies on the verge of an orgasm.

V for Vendetta, Vivid, Valiant, Visionary, Victorious, Vicious…

2006-03-18T00:54:00.000+08:00

"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." -- V for Vendetta

If you are confused with what is going on in the world today and you are scared but unsure of what might happen if vicious, power-hungry people continue ruling the world, go see V for Vendetta. Now showing in theaters nationwide!

A movie like a good smoke, satisfying sex, perfect drink, sound sleep, and what-have-you. Clear shot of raindrops falling on Natalie Portman’s (Evey) bald head (observed by my filmmaker friend), smooth swooshing swords in V’s last fight scene, seamless marriage of film and theater, etc., but, most of all, story-telling with depth, imagination and premonition.

Yes, the movie might be too revolutionary for the taste of tight-assed people in power. But like it or not, V simply hooks every viewer. It presents a world we always feared, a societal developmental disorder in danger of going nowhere but ground zero... if we do not do something about it.

The Wachowski brothers, the movie's screenwriters ( also behind the Matrix movies) have mastered story-telling with artistry, intellect and vision. What I like most is how they utilized the theories from college that most of us have forgotten.

Some cool use of theories from the movie...

Conspiracy theory to expose government conspiracies to wreak havoc in the lives of their citizens and lure people into believing that they need a stronger, authoritarian government that can protect them (sounds familiar?).

Reinforcement and cultivation theories for media's part in making people believe government lies. But also inoculation theory for the television viewers who have become resistant to lies. If any media person does not follow, he/she will end up dead like the television host who made fun of and showed the ironies and truth about the state head.

Symbolic interaction theory for V's convincing argument with Evey why he had to blow up the church tower. A building blown up is more than just a building blown up. It literally blows up socially constructed ideas, but presented as truths, that the building symbolizes.

Chaos theory for the rationale of V's vengeance that will lead to the end the vicious cycle of government abuse of power and supression of people's thinking. Conflict and disorder brings new and better order, again, if we do something about it.

Systems theory for explaining how a corrupt government's control of societal institutions such as the church and businesses leads to a systemic cancer; how there are no coincidences, that bits of pieces of this and that make up the whole, or the hole.

Feminist theory for the male-created repressive government. Yes, some women conspired to create such a government but the boardroom scenes (key officials talking to state head on the big screen) were all males. The screenwriters even included a subplot where homosexuals were persecuted but stood strong. Also, Evey had the final decision to push down the lever of that train that leads to bringing down parliament to clean up the mess of the past.

And I must insist, people power theory or EDSA theory (sino'ng aangal diyan ha?). Only this time, the terrorist prepared the way for people to gather on the streets and watch the symbol-of-power building collapse. With the EDSA 1, 2 and, some say, 3, in our country, will we have to wait until something similar happens?

Lots of theories more, what can you add?

No, no. I am not saying blowing up buildings cure society's diseases. I am just saying or going with the idea that blowing up, shaking up, or questioning those concepts and realities we just accept without questioning their validity might eventually lead us to a better understanding of our world and how we change it.

In a chaotic world, indeed, theories, most often, are keys to understanding. It is just up to us what we do with that understanding. We die because of it? We live it?

In any case, we eventually die and the theories live on. VaVaVa-Voom!
Peace ya all.

Hardened feminist

2006-03-16T23:46:00.000+08:00

If calling you Patriarchal because you wouldn't let me speak is hardened feminist, then I am
If branding you chauvinist because you think men are superior is hardened feminist, then I am
If punching you back because you punched me first is hardened feminist, then I am
If hating you for oppressing the women race is hardened feminist, then I am
If asking for equal pay for equal work is hardened feminist, then I am
If praying for your kingdom's fall is hardened feminist, then I am
Call me hardened, call me mad
Label me insane, declare me ill
Gossip and slander all you want
Call me hardened feminist
I don't care

Whoever said that Feminism is dead does not have a fulltime, rank-and-file job

2006-03-16T19:14:00.000+08:00

So many blahs that I hear from chauvinists and those who claim to be feminists that feminism is dead, is no longer relevant.

Try working in a usual office environment, or even a non-government organization where the boss is male and the culture is so male dominated.

These people who proclaim feminism's death do not understand the importance of feminism in putting sanity into a rank-and-file woman's experiences.

Is there a glass ceiling or am I just inept? Will I be smart or will I be beautiful? Shall I speak because my boss does not know what he is doing? Is that sexual harassment or admiration? Am I emotional or is he rude?

Feminism saves women's sanity. It rescues so many women from the brink of acceptance that their plot in life is to follow the male standard.

Pink for pop-feminist icon!

2006-03-16T14:04:00.000+08:00

This sexy woman has it all.. gosh. She is just so cool!

In an interview over MTV a while ago, Pink hit the nail on the head when she said that her latest song/music video simply wants to make fun of an idea, not certain celebrities (although they do act so funny!). Pink wants audiences to think. As she succintly puts it, stupid girl videos make girl viewers not to think and simply act funny. Ha!Ha!

Lyrics from PINK's latest song , and let us THINK!

Stupid Girls Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl,
I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Go to Fred Segal, you'll find them there
Laughing loud so all the little people stare
Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne(Drop a name)
What happened to the dreams of a girl president
She's dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
They travel in packs of two or three
With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
Oh where, oh where could they be?
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that,
I don't wanna be a stupid girl
(Break it down now)Disease's growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
Disasters all around
World despaired
Their only concern
Will they **** up my hair
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
[Interlude]Oh my god you guys, I totally had more that 300 calories
That was so not sexy, noGood one, can I borrow that?
[Vomits]I WILL BE SKINNY
(Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)(I like this, like this, like this)Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!
Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
What a paparazzi girl, I don't wanna be a stupid girl
Baby if I act like that, flipping my blonde hair back
Push up my bra like that, I don't wanna be a stupid girl

Pop feminists hate men and the water is not wet

2006-03-15T19:46:00.000+08:00

Remember that anti-feminist Wikipedia article on pop feminism? Well, here is something from a website called Wiktionary, professing connection with the open-content 'encyclopedia' Wikipedia as the latter's lexical companion.

Wiktionary defines Pop Feminism as

Noun
the belief that women are in all ways superior to men

Guess who gave this definition? There are much more lies in the Internet than we thought. And these sites dare ask for donations. Beware.

Wiktionary has this disclaimer: "please be advised that Wiktionary CANNOT guarantee, in any way whatsoever, the validity of the information found here"

Yeah. But it poses as an online dictionary. Students who rely on websites such as these should be warned.

Beyonce the trance

2006-03-14T14:20:00.000+08:00

I was not blinking at all. It seemed that I wasn't. I fell into a trance watching Beyonce' vibrate on screen.

It was only after that video that I realized that I did not even remember what the song was or what it was saying. It was the first time that I heard it. All I remembered was Beyonce', her breasts, round butt and long nicely tanned legs.

Most girl teeners simply love 21-year old Beyonce' Knowles. As an advocate of sexual rights, I have would have no right to say that Beyonce's promotion of women's sexual expression is oppressive. It should not be oppressive but liberating instead. But watching her video everyday, everytime I tune in to MTV, somehow gives me an ill-feeling, a kind of discomfort that I would have to confront.

I took a glimpse of Beyonce's profile on the web. She is certainly a very talented musician. She is an artist, an award-winner. There is no doubt that she is a woman of substance.

Beyonce's beauty and stylish function glared at me when an ad on her web revealed that she is promoting a line of dresses, lotion, lipstick and perfume. Oh, I thought she would promote someone like the Philippine liposuction doctor Vicki Belo . I see now that Beyonce' herself is the advertisement.

Saying this about Beyonce is no way saying that she is not a liberating woman character in popular culture. Her confidence in her body has taught a lot of teeners and non-teeners like myself that a woman's body is beautiful, it should be carried with confidence, not something to be hidden.

But I think what makes me wary about the vibrating Beyonce' is that too much of her would make me want to be like her--even if I am not a teener. Just like reinforcement theory in communication. She is just so perfect. If only she can go beneath her glamour and show me the human and not just the advertisement, I would be much more confortable watching her. And she would be definitely be to me a feminist icon in popular culture.

What I fear in the sexually liberating pop-feminism's oppressive tendency is not really the sex, but its part in the propagation of a standard or set of standards that demands too much from my empty pocket.

Men behind the unpopular popular

2006-03-13T17:25:00.000+08:00

Pop feminism is extremely unpopular among male chauvinists and some feminists. They see girl power invasion of mainstream media and entertainment--the likes of Lara Croft, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ms. Underworld, and all other gun-toting and sword-swinging vixens -- as an unjustified assertion of female supremacy over the male species.

My question is who created those girls? Lara Croft was invented by Mr. Toby Gard, Buffy was by Mr. Joss Whedon, and Underworld Evolution girl by Patrick Tatopoulos. Think about any popular fierce female film or videogame character and tell me who her creators are.

What is Pop Feminism + Lesson on online fraud and propaganda

2006-03-11T10:14:00.000+08:00

First, here is WHAT IT ISN'T. Christopher John Moor, 25 year-old guy with a degree in genetics, signed up in Wikipedia.com is WRONG IN SAYING THAT...

"Pop feminism is a variety of feminism related to misandry and often a consequence of gynocentrism. Its proponents believe in the moral or other superiority of the female gender and cite it to promote social attitudes that favour a matriarchal society, where women enjoy superior rights and men are marginalised. Some groups believe that pop feminism has already instigated the creation of laws that discriminate against men, particularly in the fields of criminal and family law and sexual harassment civil codes.
......

Under pop feminism, beauty is a form of power, and careful attention to one's appearance yields control over men. This contrasts with other forms of feminism that view the quest for beauty as an artifact of a patriarchical society."

To view Mr. Moor's horrible post, click here. To top that, the same Moor article appears in Answers.com.

PLEASE
Mr. Moor, get out of Wikipedia! Pop feminism or any kind of feminism I can think of is not about hating males! You are actually invoking the reader to simply hate feminism and feminists. You give Wikipedia a bad name. Off with your head! If you know what I mean.

Podcasting Exam

2006-03-10T11:23:00.000+08:00

Yes. It was like an exam. I thought I had incisive things to say. But it seemed what mattered was the form. I was doing podcast reading my script because our group decided we should come up with a script. I researched info and wrote my piece of shit about liberalism in the Philippines. Well, I feel the like the reception was as bad as the podcast I made! To top that, they are going to make that podcast an example.. of what not to do???? Hmmm, wait a minute, aguray apo, admit it Dr. RM, our group did good with the script. It was just a bit long [because I was so OC (obsessive-compulsive) to make sure my points were clear] and we just lacked time to edit. Yeah!

Well, life is like that. We are not good enough sometimes.

To my groupmates Noemi and Isolde, I think we did good. We had substance. As we all know, good form is always preceeded by substance.

Carol's Gig Sched for March 2006

2006-03-10T09:23:00.000+08:00

Hear ye my gig sched for March 2006
30 March-Pinikpikan Band @ EARCOS Conference, Shangri-la Hotel, Ortigas, Pasig City (tentative)
25 March-Pinikpikan Band @ Chateau Royale, Aguinaldo Highway, Nasugbu, Batangas
22 March-Pinikpikan Band @ SaGuijo Cafe, Guijo Street, San Antonio Village, Makati City, 10:00 pm
18 March-Pinikpikan Band @ 70s Bistro, Anonas Street, Project 3, Quezon City, 9:30 pm
16 March-Women's Night @Conspiracy Garden Cafe, Visayas Avenue, Quezon City, 9:30 pm
10 March-Women's Party, Ateneo School of Law, Rockwell Drive, Makati (will sing in this party as birthday gift to my officemate Grace!)
08 March-Closing Ceremonies, International Women's Film Festival as performer U.P. Film Center, Diliman, Q.C.
-Women's Night featuring Carol Bello @ MAG:NET Cafe, Katipunan Avenue, Diliman, Q.C.
03 March - Forum on Women in Film, International Women's Film Festival as panelist and performer U.P. Film Center, Diliman, Q.C.

The fear of RM is the beginning of wise blogging

2006-03-09T17:36:00.004+08:00

Nope, not being blasphemous to the Almighty here. Just borrowing this beautiful saying of King Solomon the Wise (the original phrase in English is 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom') so I can thank Dr. Ronald Meinardus, a.k.a RM the German, for making us toil the whole day and create our personal blogs.

Today, March 9, is day one of the two-day blogging and podcasting workshop organized by Friedrich Naumann Foundation (FNF).

RM heads FNF in Makati, Pilipinas. He is tall and you won't miss him (and he won't miss you because he makes sure you do the exercise(!), especially when there is work to be done. Double emphasis/redundancy intended.)

RM's angels---Anne and Narwin prepared everything from calling and emailing us, to preparing the venue. Abe and Manolo, the blog masters are really blog masters, especially because they were just so willing to share!

RM: SO HOW ARE THINGS?
-There, RM enters the room and asks us in his commanding voice.
We answer in low voices.

RM: WHO WOULD LIKE TO VOLUNTEER?
-There, RM again. He said we should show our work. The sun is setting, pawis na rin kilikili ko. Hay, this is my third write up. RM finally picked one girl, Teresa...

RM: OKAY? GOOD?... YES, GO AHEAD. SPEAK UP. IT'S BEEN A WONDERFUL DAY.
-Yeah, in other words, Teresa, start your presentation NOW.
-Teresa finishes her presentation.

RM: OKAY? GOOD. ANY COMMENTS?.. YES, PLEASE SPEAK UP.
-Ay, come on people, let us speak up (!).

RM: OKAY, I LIKE IT BECAUSE IT IS VERY EXPRESSIVE.. I COME FROM A COUNTRY WHERE WE ARE VERY SERIOUS...
-I am sure, I am sure...

RM: OKAY, CAROL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
-A, e. (Sagot, Carol!)

RM: YOU MAY NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY BUT MAYBE YOU HAVE A POINT.
-I answered.

RM: THAT WAS ALREADY MENTIONED
-Ayun, tapos (there, I'm a goner).

Thanks RM and FNF. Time is gold when we are with you! See you tomorrow!