what makes me happy

happiness is
a cup of freshly brewed coffee
chirping birds on a gentle morning light
a breeze of clean air
an hour or two or more of my exercise
a nicely done anti-stress massage
the scent and taste of hot real green tea in my teacher's house
a return of Xena the Warrior Princess television series
unlimitext
a bar of chocolate in my down moments
freshly baked spanish bread
an intelligent and relaxed conversation
music tripping in a cool and cozy sensurround room
crystal clear river full of fish to hunt
tequila
tequila
tequila

sometimes, we have to remind ourselves what makes us truly happy

peace photo contest, join na!

I am sure I do not have to elaborate on the peace situation in the Philippines.... calling everyone who believes in the possibility of a peaceful Philippines... join na.
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Call for Photo Works for the Visions of Peace Photo Gallery

September is National Peace Consciousness Month and the United Nations celebrates September 21 as the International Day of Peace.

In pursuance of promoting public consciousness on peace possibilities in the country, the Government of the Republic of the Philippines-Monitoring Committee (GRP-MC) is coming up with a peace photo gallery,which will be launched within September/October 2006.

GRP-MC is inviting students, professionals, photography enthusiasts and others to submit photo works exploring themes related to peace.

Works can explore answers to questions such as:
How do we achieve peace in the Philippines?
What is your vision of peace?
Where or with what does peace start?
What will make peace possible in the Philippines?

Photos may vary in size from 4 x 5 to 15 x 17 inches, in black and white or colored.

Persons whose works have been selected for exhibition in the GRP-MC peace photo gallery will receive Php 2,000 to 5,000 cash plus certificate. Those whose works have not been selected will receive a special prize token and certificate.

PLEASE SUBMIT EARLY.

With your submission, attach a piece of paper that indicates:
Your Name
Age
Address
School or Organization (if any)
Contact Numbers (landline, mobile phone, fax, etc.)
The date and place you took the photo
A short description of what the photo wants to tell

Send photos to
Photo Contest
GRP-MC Secretariat
6TH Floor Immaculate Conception Multi-Purpose Building
41 Lantana Street, Cubao 1111 Quezon City, Philippines

Submissions will be accepted until 21 September 2006.

For inquiries, email < jmcgrp.comm@ yahoo.com> or < info@grpmc-jmc. org>, or call (63-2) 725-4621.
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Secretariat of the Government of the Republic of the Philippines-Monitoring Committee (GRP-MC)
Office of the Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process (OPAPP)
6TH Floor Immaculate Conception Multi-Purpose Building
41 Lantana Street, Cubao 1111Quezon City, Philippines
Telephone: 63-2-7254621
Fax: 63-2-7253430
Email: info@grpmc-jmc. org; jmcgrp.comm@ yahoo.com
Website: http://www.grpmc- jmc.org
==========================

Sa labas ng kahon

Huwag mo akong ikahon
Na parang regalong may takdang sukat at hubog

Huwag mo akong ituring na isang drowing
Isang tanawing di na magbabago at di maglalaho

Ako ay tubig na patuloy ang daloy
Kahit anong subok ay di madadakot

Huwag mo akong ituring na isang iskript
O karakter na maaring iguhit

Hindi ako maniquin o manikang papel
Na maaring lagyan ng label

Ako ay hanging umiihip at humahambalos
Na di maaring mayapos

Huwag mo akong
Isilid
Sukatin
Timbangin.

Huwag mo akong ikahon.

Bleeding Heart

My heart bleeds red and sorrowful
My body shaking and my head circling
My vision is blurred by a hale of tears
Justice is promised by the liars

I am drained of waiting
I am nourished by indignance
Even Jesus had a righteous anger
Against those who profit in God's name

What shall it profit a man if he gains
the whole world and loses his own soul?
What shall it profit thee if you kill your enemy?
Only more enemies, more to kill lest you be killed first.

What shall it profit thee?

hitting the target and evading the point

Pow! And counting....

Not just between the blues and the reds, with the "unintended civilian casualties." I also see those who worry everyday whom to ask for rice or bagoong, where to find a doctor, how to get medicines, and so on. I wonder how much rice and kilometers of irrigation canals that funds spent for war materials can buy and construct?

You mean silence the enemy and we will all be happy? Sorry, I am not convinced, and that does not mean I am your enemy, silly. And please, if I am not on your side, that does not mean I am with the other side. Dualities have long been debunked, the world is round not flat. Try drinking more bilog.

The great war tactician Sun Tzu said, " All warfare is based on deception". In our case, we claim to desire peace but contending forces intend to achieve it through armed confrontation. And everyone knows that the path towards peace is through common ground of values, not deception. The Cordillerans have long applied this since the advent of the "budong" or peace pacts.

But deception rules; common sensical peacemaking is evaded.

Bloodshed on both sides of the fence. National brain-drain is not just through migration.

Philippine Idol-ing

Hay, finally got back to this blog after more than a week of playing slave para mabuhay. I just came back from a weekend meeting.. . and happened, by chance, to watch the show Philippine Idol aired over ABC 5.

Watching Philippine Idol is watching how we are, as a country, in cultural identity and mindset-- brown hilaw and Sharon Cuneta-Bukas Luluhod ang mga Tala* believers dominated the kind of performances and mindsets (some were interviewed) I saw.

We are hilaw but we do not like hilaw, meaning something that is supposed to have been cooked but was not well-cooked. It is like rice that has finished boiling and cooked outside until you see the insides, just like an identity that is at nowhere, nasa alangan. Kung hilaw ka na naghihinug-hinugan, tatawanan ka lang, kahit wala kang natirang pamasahe pabalik papunta sa probinsya nyo. Ay, pasiyensa na kamo day. Dili ka ma-accept.

As always, those who have crossed or can cross over as singer-dancers who pass the accepted pop standard of how a performer should look, sing and move pass the audition. But I do appreciate that the judges Pilita C, Ryan C. and Francis M. accept Bisaya performers. They event accepted one transgender, I think she is pre-op. They accepted them even if it is obvious they won't pass another audition. Please do prove me wrong.

Philippine Idol is not just about finding the Philippine Idol and that's it. It is also shows how dyslexic we are in cultural identity. While the show's intellectual property holder knew how profitable it is to expose people's feelings of triumph and defeat as well as bravado and absurdity, even often make fun of misplaced ambitions and characters, the show franchise in the Philippines shows who we are and what we are, in the singular and plural senses.

Sometimes we see blind, sometimes cross-eyed... sometimes, we see that we refuse to see our seen and obvious selves. Keep on watching Philippine Idol--labanan ng mga hilaw at hinog, good luck na lang sa mga sunog at dugyot. Hiram lamang ang ating katauhan.
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*tomorrow the stars will kneel down

essay competition: human rights and democracy

Everyone, you are invited to join this essay-writing competition:

"The Ateneo Human Rights Center in partnership with the Friedrich Naumann Foundation is sponsoring an essay-writing competition on the question: Does the universality of human rights require a particular type of democracy?"

That is a very interesting and tricky question, isn't it? Should I give my real answer or the answer wanted of me? Hehe. Join tayo.

View details.

Template of Beauty

I watched the replay of Ms. Universe 2006, held in the global hegemonic USA, in Los Angeles. All beautiful women, fitting the standards of the 'thankyou doc' beauty industry. The small waistline that was rare before --and owned by a select few like wonder woman Linda Carter-- is now a common thing; high noses, cheeks-skin-legs in wood varnish finish, most candidates speaking in English with accents spiced up with native tongue slur. Different nations but same built and walk and poise.

Ms. Universe is supposed to be about representing one's country and nationality but here we are watching a bunch of beauties with relatively different origins but something tells you they all went through the same beauty global business machinery. Wide smile lips, eyes wide open, long -thin arms and legs.

It is bothering that candidates are too thin for comfort. I think I saw someone about to faint! Where were the Gloria Diaz days when contestants were genuinely bubly and alive?!

Where were the days beauties were representative of their people's natural features? More than half of the contestants have obviously mixed with the conquistadores bloods. Ms. India, Ms. Argentina and the likes look more like Farah Fawcett than native beauties!

Carson of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, features as one of the hosts, overshadowing his partner host, a former Ms. Universe-USA. Carson, noticing the the contestants' hairs even commented that there are so many contestants with blond hair. Lots of Farah Fawcetts in the bunch.

Bikini hypno
Okay, the bikini portion parade of bodies with only the suso and pekpek covered was so hypnotic it made me stop thinking. Top that with a barrage of corporate sponsors-- Skin White (especially for black and brown skins!), Fitness (or thinness) from Nestle, Xenical weight loss, Cover Girl make up.

Bland
The stage design and the evening gown colors are just so bland, like food without garnish. Kulang sa asin, sili at bawang! Tastes of the shwe-shwe ruled the night. Boring... Hmm.. no wonder, my friend just told me the gowns, just like the swimwears, come from one designer. Monopoly spares no design.

Origins
I decided to look up Ms. Universe's origins and it says, shortly in one paragraph, that the beauty contest originated from a "bathing suit" contest in Long Beach, California spearheaded by Catalina Swimwear. Ms. Universe is all about swimwear and bodies, that fuzz about humanitarian service is an add on to give the contest a diplomatic flavor. The one-para history did not indicate the year of that Long Beach contest. It did not trace how this bathing suit contest became a global addiction.

Q andA
Eventually, the top five finalists were USA, Switzerland, Japan, Paraguay, Puerto Rico and Japan. Each contestant plus Ms U 2005 wrote a question in pieces of paper raffled in bowl.

Switzerland answered something about the importance of not losing one's family. USA answered that her desire to always do something, to help, correct and get disappointed with herself if she fails is perhaps one of her biggest flaws. Japan said something very intelligent, she spoke against violence and the male tendency for it. I forgot what Paraguay said. Puerto Rico, whose question was from Ms U 2005, defined success as achieving one's goals and that obstacles make you stronger.

Puerto Rico bagged the prize. The girl with the overused answer to the simpleton question won. So that is it. Do not expect something deeper in purpose. Latina beauty pageant schools know this. Ms U is a parade of women vying to be the ideal that the beauty and glamour mega industries dictate. Do not go for deeper transformative service, especially now that nation-states are in war. Do not even speak against any sort of violence. You can be beautiful and self-mutilate all you want, but never be too intelligently provocative. That is the way to win the pageant.

Duh- duh- duh- dumb.
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P.s. Our very own Ms Philippines won Ms Photogenic. Thanks so much to online voting that empowers us text and internet savvy Filipinos. Trunezz!

Bench sitter

Government has declared a state of war, the rebels refuse to yield. Hopes for peace talks are unsure. The President is scheduled to deliver a state of the nation address today. I fear watching another confrontation between anti-Gloria rallyists and police. In the streets and in the mountains, the scent of bloodshed haunts us. When will all these fighting stop? Up to when do we just watch the government troops and the left kill each other in a war of propaganda, guns and pride? Where are throngs of feminists who always have something to say? Where are the non-violence advocates? Where are the anti-war advocates? Where are we? Where am I?

asserting feminism

One reason why we should go to womyn's nights is the reality that patriarchy is very much alive and feminism in being declared dead.

If feminism is dead, we do CPR and revive it. If it is stuck along with the oldies who won't let go of their privileged feminist privileges, we grab our duties and continue working towards a world where respect for different genders is not a privilege, not just a right, but a natural state of mind.

Have you ever experienced being ignored by two men talking and exchanging toasts and boasts even if you had something important to say and what you say actually determines the two's conversation? Have you ever been assessed based solely on how your hair looked, what make-up you put on and what dress you wore that day? Did you have to be offensive just so you could defend yourself? Did you have to be twice as good so you could be treated as an equal?

No matter what frustations we have with Feminism-- in its many contradicting variations-- we still need it. It is still relevant. We have to hang on to it.

e-poster and official invite for womyn's night

See the official announcement at http://dahondahondyaryo.blogspot.com

Womyn's Night @ Penguin on 19th July

19th of July is another night of womyn's music and poetry. Isha, homegrown talent mix of Tori Amos and Madonna (ayus ba Peach? hehe=) with a Pinay angst, sings and plays the keyboard with a guiarist in tow, and Carol Bello Bandidas, an all womn group of Carol--cute vocalist of Pinikpikan (hihi! kapalmuks), famed low-profile guitarist Teta, and other girrls Divine, Kwami, Frances, Jhen (used to be with U.P. Kontragapi), and Malou (percussionist na kasa-kasama ni Cynthia Alexander, dati rin with Joey A.), perform original and cover songs with a set of percussions and guitars.

Amidst all the violence in this world and this country, there are womn who would like to have time to just sit back, relax, have wine or beer or tequila and just be with other womn and friendly people and men.

Not just referring to the violence such as the bombings and the never ending internal and international conflicts powered by arms trade, we also refer to rude stereotypes against certain genders such as that grimy liar Heads and Shoulders commercial 'Uy, Ay--Uy ang ganda, Ay hindi pala (Oh Beautiful, Oh Not)--packed in a whole music video with all male members Brown Man Revival and Sugar Free singing about women who are beautiful but aren't because they have dandruff. After the tiring clips about women with dandruff, Angel Locsin of Darna comes in with dandruff free hair. The commercial was so f*#@ing long. .. the advertisers failed this time. "Because far more men than women have dandruff, some researchers think male hormones may play a role in dandruff. Men also have larger sebaceous glands that produce an oil called sebum." (http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00456.html)

Of course, we protest the political killings in this country that is supposed to be democratic and respectful of people's right to their own opinion and persuasions.

Why Bandidas.., because we rebel against all forms of discrimination, violence against women, negative stereotypes, double standards, objectification, and commodification of womn's bodies. But that does not mean we don't like sex or men or dykes or femmes or bis or trannies, baby.

Yeah. I like my own pussy but dominant images such as the Pussy Cat Dolls are a confused bunch of hot felines. I like to be confused sometimes but not be swallowed by it and stuck my pussy into it. The lead singer Fil-Am's lips look like very much like a vagina without pride. But then again, we are not against sexual freedoms. We love sex, we love freedom. In a world where speech and suppression of it is power, I want my lips to look like my vagina and also be a wellspring of thoughts, insights and aspirations too.

Okay, so much for this juicy angst. See you on the 19th of July, 9 p.m. --girl boy bakla tomboy tomgirl tomtom tung and so on. Penguin, also known as Rock Ola Cafe is near Remedios Circle in Malate, along the corner of Changko Khuya Restaurant (or a name that sounds like this).

Bring 150 pesos entrance fee and you get one drink free; bring a poem/song or two or just speak what-have-you.

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P.S. I have been trying to post the event poster to no avail...will try to post it again later.

amidst the crossfire

To live amidst armed conflict is no life cliche'. Just a few weeks ago, I saw that people who have lived amidst violent political struggles for so many generations, like most humans, never get used to violence.

Group A of the two warring groups in my adopted hometown, or more precise to say the town that adopted me, almost opened fire against suspected enemies Group B. Occasional firing had been going on outside the residential areas since mid morning of that day. But in the afternoon, Group A sent grade and highschool students and teachers either running towards their homes or hiding inside school buildings when the group announced that suspected Group B members are inside the community.

I saw the kids crying like they wanted to go back into their mothers' womb, parents scrambling for their children. People, faces in deceivingly quiet panic, in nervous calmness shut close nipa windows.

Open fire inside the community did not happen that day. The municipal police chief told Group A that the latter just mistook some community residents for Group B members. Not surprising since they also mistook the police chief, who walking to his house from his farm somewhere in the mountains, as a Group B member shortly before police chief slid into his uniform.

What could have happened if Group A was right and they opened fire at Group B within the community? What could have happened if group A was wrong and still opened fire?

As always, between warring groups, the civilians in the middle always bear the unjust burden of running/hiding for their lives.
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The flower in the picture was a witness.

maari bang ilaga ang baril at ihain sa hapag kainan?

pasintabi na lamang po. nais kong magsulat sa tagalog-filipino. nababagabag lang ako sa mga balitang nasagap sa telebisyon. isang bilyong piso ang ilalaan para palakasin ang AFP, kasama na ang mga armas na bibilhin, para sugpuin ang mga rebelyon.

kung nais talaga ng gobyerno na magkaroon ng kapayapaan sa bansa, bakit baril, at hindi pagkain, trabaho at kaunlaran ang paglaanan ng pera? kung ang mga perang ito ay tulong mula sa ibang bansa, sa bansa o mga bansa rin bang iyon bibili ng armas? bakit di paglaanan ng pondo ang mga krimen tulad ng kidnapping, dangerous drugs trade? kawawa mga kaibigan kong intsik, laging takot makidnap.

ni hindi talaga tayo natuto sa turo nina kristo at buddha, atbp., hay.

ayon pa sa balita, unavoidable daw ang civilian casualties? o Diyos ko (talaga pong dasal ito) ilayo nyo po kami sa masasama. iligtas mo po ang bayang 'Pinas.

kahirapan ang problema ng bansa. cure the illness, not just the symptoms.

Mga readings at websites kung trip nyo magbasa:

news:
http://news.inq7.net/nation/index.php?index=1&story_id=79751
http://news.inq7.net/breaking/index.php?index=1&story_id=79440

nonviolence:
http://www.gandhiinstitute.org
http://www.nonviolenceinternational.net

Bagulbol sa araw ng kalayaan/Griping on independence day

Last week, nag-nenok ako (i got) two doves from a wedding reception in Makati. Our band played for the newly-weds and their guests. The couple released 100 doves; not all doves were able to fly away to freedom. I think half of the doves stayed on the tree branches and some even hopped around the floor.

So I got those two doves and brought them home. But the two are like chickens, they do not fly. They flap their wings once in a while and walk around the house, pecking here and there.

Bandmate bassist Louie Talan said maybe it is because they have been in the cage all their lives and released only when bought for wedding receptions.

So I call those doves chicken.

They are just like us, aren't they? When we celebrate independence day, do we really feel that independence? Do we really fly? Or do we take the stairs, or any device to pretend that we are actually using our wings to reach our dreams?

Is it real peso appreciation if it comes from foreign direct investments in the form of investments on detructive large-scale mining, displacing communities and livelihoods? Or portfolio investments that can actually leave the country in a snap?

Do we get elected because we truly deserve it or because we took the stairs of goons, guns and gold?

Why do we love New York up to now?

Is a victory sign atop a pile of dead activists a symbol of truimph of peace?

Just how do we reach our dreams? Do we walk around and peck at other people?

The symbol of our independence are still doves. But they are doves like my chicken doves. I just hope it won't take another 400 years to teach them to fly.

Disturbing the peace

Peace itself as a concept is an ambigious, vague and elusive word. I realized reading and talking about it is way much easier than struggling for it.

How do you speak of peace if the gun is pointed into your mouth?
How do you tell people to speak if silence is survival?
How do you speak of rights, if all the time is spent looking for food?
How can you be secured of the rule of law in a schizophrenic land?
How long can you convince a person trained to trigger the gun not to shoot?
How do you call for lasting truce among parties determined to outwin each other?
How can I ever stop my armed offender with a plough and prayer?

So many questions. So many answers. But violence eventually persists.

Enough is enough is enough

What is a copycat? According to Miriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, copycat: one who adopts or copies the behavior or practices of another. What is plagiarism? The same reference says, plagiarize: to steal or pass off (the ideas or words of another) as one's own.

More than a decade in the music industry allowed me to see just how many musicians are not just copycats but are actually plagiarizers. Being a copycat is not really bad, because it means recognizing who the original is, and acknowledging being inspired by or imitating that original. In many ways, it is good for both original and copycat.

To be a plagiarizer is unforgivable. Whew, I have seen guys who would steal your ideas right before your eyes. Even if you make them know that you are not happy with them doing that.

Being a woman who has to be twice as good just to be on equal footing with the man is already a burden. But not to be adequately recognized, if not unrecognized, for artistic and creative agency, for so many times? ...."Enough is enough is enough is enough..."

The wanna-be Britney Spears are truer than the pretentious trailblazers.

Missing Magdelene

(Goddess Sheelah Na Gig, photo by Gareth Lloyd Hughes, http://www.powys.gov.uk/index.php?id=2150&L=0)

All that religious experts' fuzz about the religious fiction book of Dan Brown made more people even more curious about the worship of God as female. In some archeological books, the utter devotion of the Roman Catholic religious to the Virgin Mary is traced to Goddess worship of much older times, preceeding the worship of God as male.

Virgin Mary could have been part of the many transformation of the Goddess in many cultures, transforming partly as an adaption to the reign of male-dominated cultures-- She is Iambe or Baubo, Sheelagh/Sheila/Sheelah Na Gig, Quan Yin, Isis, Iris, Gaia, Bathaluman (Filipino Tagalog), and so on.

Some Goddess names are found in this site: http://www.angelfire.com/realm2/amethystbt/goddessnames.html

I am now curious what part of the Goddess that Mary Magdalene fills in. If Virgin Mary is the virgin/saint and Magdalene is the vamp/sinner, perhaps the two make up a personality of the Goddess, perhaps of every woman. Utilization of both personalities being important to women who desire a sane, wild and meaningful life.

Dan Brown's book actually points out an omission that makes much stronger the male story of humankind. The passive, supportive, innocent Virgin elevated to great heights while the knowing, experienced Magdalene was played down and referred to as the prostitute, a lumpen who reformed. Most of male society has always been afraid of the knowing woman. A knowing woman knows man-- his fears, wants and weaknesses.

Yet, what I do not like about the fiction book is that it insisted the Magdalene was of royal blood decent and covered up her being prostitute ( a knowing woman), to justify her right to be revered. In the chart of royal bloodlines, the royal blood line came from King David, then Christ, then the offspring of Christ and Magdalene, aside from Magdalene being royal blood also. Enough of that royal blood thing. Please. Royal bloodedness is a fiction created by people, by society. A label and privilege created to justify the rule and abundance of the few over vast lands with many starving and hardworking masses.

The woman, her importance, as always throughout history, is revered, respected or voted(!) for her royal lineage via her father, forefathers or husband(s).

The book missed the potentially powerful essence of the person of Magdalene. It is not scary to male-dominated society after all.

Pinoy X-Tao

X-Men rocks. Of all the powerful characters, in the end, the rebel, dugyot (dirty, poor), lost, impulsive, unpredictable,'uneducated' Logan/Wolverine saved the day. I like that. I like Wolverine. True, transparent, willing to take risks and suffer pain. A character lacking in so many people today. Everyone is just so into their own power and well publicized causes.

I almost cried when Charles Xavier was killed by Jean Grey (but later on after the movie credits, Charles seemed to have transported his character into another body, so he is not that dead after all). It reminded me of our vanishing wise elders, being replaced by the likes of Magneto. I thought of Jovito Salonga (still very much alive today) who ran for president of this country once. I voted for hom but he lost. This country will continue losing its chances if it keeps on listening to the Magnetos.

Maiba nga ako... my friend and I have been thinking of X-men names for Pinoys:

Girl Bawang-- garlic breath that disintegrates anything in the way

Okay ka ba Chant--super sonic wail that induces earthquakes, floods and the heating up of air

Super Pork- ability to create pork dishes like sisig, crispy pata, etc. and compel the enemy to buy beer and have a good time, the enemy then dies of stroke

Porklet- anak ni Super Pork

Starlet - the sexy dancer who can hypnotize the enemy to sit down and feel his kamachohan, while starlet strikes for the kill; starlet sexy dances to the tune of "From a distance" by Bette Midler

VATman- the tax genius who kills via manipulating tax dues of his enemies until they become too poor and powerless

Ginoong Trapo - the villain who has endless supply of guns and goons, has four eyes, two noses, two mouths, six stomachs, eight hands, four feet and one small d*ck

Want to add a character?

watch Da Vinci movie

I saw Da Vinci Code the movie just the other day.

So many people were eager to watch the controversial movie, lining up in non-SM theaters, many among them wanting to see what the fuzz is all about. Bad business move for SM, I think, because there is more probability now that people will flock to non-SM theaters to watch movies. This time, conservatism is bad for business.

The Roman Catholic Church and the local government of Manila City must have seen something in the movie that compelled them to denounce and ban it...

I don't think the roman catholic religious who have been campaigning against the movie have actually seen the movie, except if you are tight-assed. The movie is all about probabilities and another view of Christianity, it isn't even against Christianity. It is not even against Opus Dei. If there is something that it is against, it is clearly against using religion and religious power/authority to secure selfish ends. Jesus preached about this, particularly whenever he referred to the Pariseo and Saduceo, religious high rankers during His time on earth.

It seems high rankers still have not learned lessons of ages ago. They use religious power to tell people, businesses and governments what to see, what to ban. Opinion could have been enough. Curtailing freedom to watch a movie is just way too much.