wowoweeee

after years of hating this game, i found myself having fun yesterday as i watched lolas and lolos sing and dance in the ritualistic special number before contestants play the Q and A game with the host.

what makes this show a hit is not willie or the bikini girls who all make being beautiful and naive-looking desirable. it is the contestants whose transparent humanness shines through the boob tube to reach people who are all equally neck-deep in everyday concerns in life, especially the poor (katulad ko wala datung).

for every special number, the contestants get P5000. i wish the show could give much more. distribute more of its advertising collections to contestants who transform life's big problems into little, tolerable and learning experiences that everyone on this earth has to go through.

end dead ends

ecclesiastical saying... King Solomon, a person who lived almost everything to find wisdom, concluded that everything is futile, a chasing after the wind.

have chased after some things only to find out later you are being chased?

have searched for some things only to find out they never existed?

have cried about a lot of things only to find out later that you should have laughed instead?

have discovered things that found you?

have hidden things that many people wanted to flaunt but do not have?

have passed through many years of life without knowing when, where, why, how...?

seen many years ahead but face a dead end?

a musician is praised for what is created, but despised for what others cannot create.

an artist is needed, but discarded for the impossibility to be owned.

work all life, and bring nothing to the next.

life is not always futile, but a dead end without end. so cross over the wall before the soulflower of life withers.

what our history teachers forgot to teach us...

i have been assisting in a research on the philippine- american war by looking at the Philippine revolutionary records/insurrection records (PRR or PIR) at the national library (kalaw, manila). i've been also looking at rare serials between 1899 to 1913.

the first day i read through first few documents on microfilm, i felt different. a melodramatic feeling inside, my heart. i was with my American friend who was the one doing the research... (if it wasn't for her, i would not have encountered these documents!) i never realized how much i do not about this country that i was born in.

habang binabasa ko ang mga sulat sa isa't isa ng mga rebolusyonaryo noon, para akong naiiyak na hindi. i can't describe the feeling. the letters showed how each one cared for the other. how corruption and wrongdoings were taken seriously. women berated drunken revolutionary men, and often risked their lives to bring food to their relatives. the words of those who wrote were always full of love and concern. there was a strong valuing of transparency, of dialogue. . . there was a strong feeling of being one, for a nation-in-the-making.

if i had read, had the chance to read through these documents when i was in elementary or highschool, perhaps i would have become a better citizen than i am today. if most of us were taught the value of really knowing and reading our past, aside from what history books offer, perhaps this country would have better citizens. less divided, with less strife. more openness, more love. deeper connection with our historical past.

the Lord is my sheperd

i shall not want
He maketh to lie down on green pastures
He leadeth me beside still waters
He restoreth my soul
He guides me in the path of righteousness for His namesake
yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i will fear no evil
for Thou art with me
Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies
Thou anointest my head with oil
my cup runneth over
surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord
Forever

Psalm 23>>>>first full bible passage i memorized, when i was in Kindergarten school at the Temple Bible School along Tandang Sora Avenue, Quezon City. the school was founded by American Christian missionaries. we learned children's gospel songs, both Tagalog and English. happy days were those... i had a very strict teacher who took teaching to heart, and had lots of cheap chichirya in my bag. our school bus was a yellow old style school bus. my classmates were of different types--bullies, smart asses, shy-types, etc. we loved to sit at the back end. we laughed whenever our bags and notepads and pens flew as the bus passes over a bumpy spot on the road. hay, sarap maging bata. i had a fun-filled childhood even though my family was poor...