Colors of Bukidnon

 

Femnist Jesus Reading 1

If Christians have been born again in the Spirit, I consider 2016 as being born again the nth time like a cat.  I have volunteered at the same place I was more than 25 years ago. And so now find myself having the time to read again, and even feel, what was it like when Jesus was still in human form.

"If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."

This comes from a passage in the book of John, New Testament. The woman was caught in adultery, nakikiapid, and the religious leaders of that time dragged her to Jesus.

Old times, modern times, anytime. People can be dragged into adulterous relationships. The reason? Too many to mention. "Baka nabola yung tao, sabi walang asawa," "Alam naman nila ginagawa nila pero ginagawa pa rin" or "Baka pinilit at binubugbog kaya hindi makaalis!" Across ages, from the young to the old, many are tempted or lured.

In Jesus' time, the community stones the woman to death. Modern times, in Philippine society, the stone usually comes in the form of spite, hatred, degradation.  The adulterous woman today could be physically alive but dead inside. If the adulterous person was a man, it will not be stones but praises, both outright and subtle.

So Jesus could have been the first feminist. He was on the side of the woman. In Jewish society at that time where men had the privilege, Jesus stood firm to protect women from discrimination.  

"At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Saved from the stoning, the woman gains a new life, and a command to empower herself, to leave the relationship and move on.

It is not love if it is

forced.

not in the mood for love

Storm past but
Not the blackhole in my heart
No matter what you say, what you do
Nothing can change
Me, what I am now
What I will be

not in the mood for love

Storm past but
Not the blackhole in my heart
No matter what you say, what you do
Nothing can change
Me, what I am now
What I will be

not in the mood for love

Storm past but
Not the blackhole in my heart
No matter what you say, what you do
Nothing can change
Me, what I am now
What I will be

rush

in a rush to go someplace
else
nowhere



not in the mood to lay on the grass
and
ponder



seeking without knowing what is being sought
just
because



hoping not to find what is
already
here

so i can always fly

far
away

my true self

...means there are fakes. the spirit is true and the flesh and brain not me but my machines. if my slaves made of senses are able to manipulate me, then i am at their mercy. dumb to fulfill their wishes. if my self is weak, they are strong. if i am strong, they are weak, serving only as i wish. all religions i know point to this. pity if i am slave to the slaves. giving in to their tendencies.. like candle on fire

land sinking, sea rising

...explains the dreams. sometimes when sleeping, sometimes awake. ancient languages spoken to left ear. some angry, aggressive; some advising. the waters from the sea rise not just slowly, but some suddenly. mothers with their children, crying. no time to bring clothes, or food. escape to the mountain where it is not so safe... is this fate?

land sinking, sea rising

explains the dreams i have. sometimes during sleep, sometimes awake. ancient languages spoken to left ear. some angry, aggressive; some advising. the waters from the sea rise not just slowly, but some suddenly. mothers with their children, crying. no time to bring clothes, or food. escape to the mountain where it is not so safe... is this fate?

Race to Nothing

Amazing how we all try to out-do each other. The smartest, healthiest, bravest... the dirtiest, worst, ugliest... from postive to negative, highest to lowest...

If there are people who know the futility of outdoing each other and refuse to join the race to nothing, one of them would be the Iraya in Puerto Galera. Known to Flipino locals and dayuhan (foreign visitors) as the Mangyans (from the word, Mangyan or Mangmang yan, literal translation to English is he/she is ignorant), the Irayas possess only themselves and their freedom.

How I envy their freedom. The sight of them passing by, walking in a line, together, disposses me of what I hold or boast of as valuable--my education, my job, my accomplishments and other stuff. It brings me to question what full human development is--if it is the pressure to become the best that I can be, I would rather call it a progressive imprisonment of a person born free-- without clothes to label if a boy or a girl, a crib and house to determine if rich or poor, branded baby food that certifies a well-nourished weaning years, an education that structures my brain how to think, and an office job that is an improved version of slavery of centuries ago. And so on.

To be healthy and prolong life--an early death because of illness traced to insufficient faith? Not enough effort in scouring funds for industrial medicines... bullshit. But a good take-off point to question rights as a development paradigm.

dreaming running

frequent dreams lately>>

referring to dream book by Nerys Dee...

running : dream interpretation is face the truth, do not run

fear and accidents: anxiety over what lies ahead

helicopter chase: dream interpretation of helicopter is practical ideals and ambitions

helicopter has giant spotlight pointed at the running self: means something to do with being seen or looked upon by many people

motorcyle chase: dream interpretation of motorcyle is life is speeding up to destiny

stop, face the truth, face ambitions, go with destiny, overcome anxiety as i speed up towards the lights. eliminate fear.

who is the young woman

i will allow myself some self-accolade..

i have been feeling young these days. .. being with a group of women of early to late twenties, i realize how young i still am in attitude and relationship towards life and older feminists, respectively. on our way home from a book launch of an international women's group in a really really posh hotel in the heart of the Metro (Manila), we joked about who qualifies as a young woman, especially because i am nearing forties yet i still identify with younger women. (perhaps a secret to my being young-looking, nyahy!)

who qualifies as a young (feminist) woman?

we came up a list.

for sure, if you approach a senior feminist, stand less than a foot from her and she does not notice you right away as she is busy instructing a young woman like you, you qualify for a young woman/feminist. if you were older, that senior will instantly receive you gladly!

if you were tasked to research for an ENTIRE book (and of course give all your heart to it, skipping night outs and morning jogs with friends) and your boss gets authorship credits by presenting it in a meeting, and you get a footnote credit as assistant, you are a young woman/feminist.

if you speak words of dissent and critical attitude towards current dominant feminist thought and you are dismissed as simply CUTE, or undergoing some trouble in life or a problematic person, you are...

if you are perennially asked to document a meeting, call the waiter or driver, make a phone call, fix and operate the lcd projector or laptop and get blamed if things do not work or expected people did not come, you are...

if you do not have a problem being called a "girl" but "they" see that there is a BIG problem with being called a girl, you are...

the list goes on and goes on and on and on. for so many years, young feminists have been trying to bridge the gap with older feminists. young feminist groups have been established, coming and going.. . young feminists who usually make it to top org posts make it to that level primarily because they thinkold! this is not just me opinionating but lots and lots of young women. lots. lots.. lots.. lots....lost

pinikpikan to KALAYO.. the name game

pinikpikan is now KALAYO. kalayo is hiligaynon word for "fire." we take on a creative fire attitude. but for now, we use pinikpikan-KALAYO, or KALAYO (formerly Pinikpikan).

what's in a name anyway. when we are born we are given name. a name that signifies ownership by someone else. an expected tax payer. a will-be insatiable consumer. a name called to derive obedience, exact submission. a name that marks, situates, locates, identifies... but music is beyond these. what is in a name anyway but a way to own, mark and control.

peace.

happy new year.

ode to my cat T

my cat, famous in the eyes of my mother because she used to catch snakes up to 4 feet long. she died weeks ago, of an illness we were not able to determine, because she refused to be cuddled since her weird coughs began.

she was also talented in catching mice, and ate the clean-smelling ones. she always gave birth to healthy kittens. she was not into the habit of stealing food on the kitchen table. we did not have problems with claws, she was always gentle. she always cleaned herself.

i love my cat. now in cat heaven. i miss her so much.

wowoweeee

after years of hating this game, i found myself having fun yesterday as i watched lolas and lolos sing and dance in the ritualistic special number before contestants play the Q and A game with the host.

what makes this show a hit is not willie or the bikini girls who all make being beautiful and naive-looking desirable. it is the contestants whose transparent humanness shines through the boob tube to reach people who are all equally neck-deep in everyday concerns in life, especially the poor (katulad ko wala datung).

for every special number, the contestants get P5000. i wish the show could give much more. distribute more of its advertising collections to contestants who transform life's big problems into little, tolerable and learning experiences that everyone on this earth has to go through.

end dead ends

ecclesiastical saying... King Solomon, a person who lived almost everything to find wisdom, concluded that everything is futile, a chasing after the wind.

have chased after some things only to find out later you are being chased?

have searched for some things only to find out they never existed?

have cried about a lot of things only to find out later that you should have laughed instead?

have discovered things that found you?

have hidden things that many people wanted to flaunt but do not have?

have passed through many years of life without knowing when, where, why, how...?

seen many years ahead but face a dead end?

a musician is praised for what is created, but despised for what others cannot create.

an artist is needed, but discarded for the impossibility to be owned.

work all life, and bring nothing to the next.

life is not always futile, but a dead end without end. so cross over the wall before the soulflower of life withers.

what our history teachers forgot to teach us...

i have been assisting in a research on the philippine- american war by looking at the Philippine revolutionary records/insurrection records (PRR or PIR) at the national library (kalaw, manila). i've been also looking at rare serials between 1899 to 1913.

the first day i read through first few documents on microfilm, i felt different. a melodramatic feeling inside, my heart. i was with my American friend who was the one doing the research... (if it wasn't for her, i would not have encountered these documents!) i never realized how much i do not about this country that i was born in.

habang binabasa ko ang mga sulat sa isa't isa ng mga rebolusyonaryo noon, para akong naiiyak na hindi. i can't describe the feeling. the letters showed how each one cared for the other. how corruption and wrongdoings were taken seriously. women berated drunken revolutionary men, and often risked their lives to bring food to their relatives. the words of those who wrote were always full of love and concern. there was a strong valuing of transparency, of dialogue. . . there was a strong feeling of being one, for a nation-in-the-making.

if i had read, had the chance to read through these documents when i was in elementary or highschool, perhaps i would have become a better citizen than i am today. if most of us were taught the value of really knowing and reading our past, aside from what history books offer, perhaps this country would have better citizens. less divided, with less strife. more openness, more love. deeper connection with our historical past.

the Lord is my sheperd

i shall not want
He maketh to lie down on green pastures
He leadeth me beside still waters
He restoreth my soul
He guides me in the path of righteousness for His namesake
yea though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death
i will fear no evil
for Thou art with me
Thy rod and Thy staff
they comfort me

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies
Thou anointest my head with oil
my cup runneth over
surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord
Forever

Psalm 23>>>>first full bible passage i memorized, when i was in Kindergarten school at the Temple Bible School along Tandang Sora Avenue, Quezon City. the school was founded by American Christian missionaries. we learned children's gospel songs, both Tagalog and English. happy days were those... i had a very strict teacher who took teaching to heart, and had lots of cheap chichirya in my bag. our school bus was a yellow old style school bus. my classmates were of different types--bullies, smart asses, shy-types, etc. we loved to sit at the back end. we laughed whenever our bags and notepads and pens flew as the bus passes over a bumpy spot on the road. hay, sarap maging bata. i had a fun-filled childhood even though my family was poor...

Marshall McLuhan--- especially when i suffer info overload and have no idea at all

Remembering McLuhan, famous communication theorist. More known for his --THE MEDIUM IS THE MESSAGE--legacy to information age prisoners like myself.

Some McLuhanisms (from a website dedicate to him: www.marshallmcluhan.com; also, visit http://www.mcluhan.ca/)

• The story of modern America begins With the discovery of the white man by The Indians. -True di ba?
• Whereas convictions depend on speed-ups, justice requires delay. --Kaya wag na magtaka bakit tambak kaso mga korte natin.
• Invention is the mother of necessities. --cellphone at internet addicts, ang dami natin!
• Mud sometimes gives the illusion of depth. --Maraming titser at estudyanteng ganito. hehe.
• The road is our major architectural form. --just like our roads in this country.
• Today each of us lives several hundred years in a decade. --kaya relak lang dapat.
  
• When you are on the phone or on the air, you have no body.--i love this one. physicality+ presence+space=realness
• All advertising advertises advertising.-- ... pera-pera lang yan.
  
• This information is top security. When you have read it, destroy yourself. ---katakut but true
  
• One of the nicest things about being big is the luxury of thinking little. --swak! tamaan magalit na.
• Politics offers yesterday’s answers to today’s questions. --agree, grabe.
  
• Food for the mind is like food for the body: the inputs are never the same as the outputs.--aruy!
• At the speed of light, policies and political parties yield place to charismatic images.-- kaya puro pa-kyut na lang mga pulitiko. billboard kabi-kabila. anu ba yan??!!
  

—Copyright © 1986, McLuhan Associates, Ltd.